Health: Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why?...

By teeth - 10/08/2011 17:00 - United States

Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 446

You deserved it 2 833

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Same thing different taste

WTF Mom?

By Username - 25/11/2012 23:36 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 111

You deserved it 1 898

Non confrontational

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 03:00

Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 2 024

Hygiene 101

By Anonymous - 08/06/2019 18:00

Today, my mother refused to talk to me because I wouldn't let her use my deodorant stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 282

Get me out of this shithole

By nothing is sacred - 23/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Reynoldsburg

Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 547

You deserved it 498

By Poor Student - 05/12/2011 22:30 - Canada

Today, my mother "borrowed" money from my stash to help pay for her vacation to the Dominican Republic. The same trip I'm not allowed to go on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 463

You deserved it 2 575

By BiteMe - 30/08/2016 23:29 - United States - Upper Marlboro

Today, my dentist told me I have a cavity and blamed it on the "subpar" toothpaste I've been using - the same toothpaste he recommended six months ago at my last appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 291

You deserved it 1 191

#1 Mom

By whoopsboutthecap - 15/11/2011 12:51 - United States

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 258

You deserved it 3 774

Dad Jokes, part 36646

By JackSoda - 26/03/2020 17:01

Today, my dad brought the double barrel shotgun to my room, gave me his hat and said, "It's all about survival now. At any cost, Coral." He keeps calling me Coral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 251

By ThaBoss12 - 01/11/2014 22:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 764

You deserved it 3 527

By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 021

You deserved it 5 246

bubble25_fml 5

Wednesday 10 August 2011 22:07

don't know if I should trust u, your fml sounds a bit fishy...

Blue87 4

Wednesday 10 August 2011 22:07

ewww

Comments

bluebird5679 3

Thursday 11 August 2011 17:14

That is so coral!

hotpinkpepsi 6

Thursday 11 August 2011 19:10

y is this an FML if you got regular toothpaste... hmmm

vyrtig0 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 19:28

"Today, I found a solution to my problem. FML." I don't understand why you posted this after getting regular toothpaste

Starstruckluv 4

Thursday 11 August 2011 19:43

I would just keep sneaking the regular toothpaste. It's better than lumps of sea life in ur toothpaste

rileynautumn 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 19:48

tell her to try "tooth soap" it's much better than coral paste and has the same good qualities. if you get the mint whips one you can barely tell the difference between it and tooth paste. it's floride free and leaves your teeth feeling really nice!

HunterAlpha1 8

Thursday 11 August 2011 20:02

reminds me alot of my mom. she wouldn't let me use mouthwash, deodorant, or cologne, and she made me use tom's of maine toothpaste that smelled like shit. now i use all those things and colgate toothpaste. ahh, eighteenth birthday, such a beautiful thing!

portablecupid 3

Thursday 11 August 2011 20:40

I imagine your mom bought that because she's a health/eco-nut... which makes me wonder why she thought it was a good idea to pay extra to smear endangered animal bits all over her family's mouths.

sprtschck 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 21:59

Omigod my mom tried to pull this stuff on me too she won't let me use normal body wash or shampoo or anything it has to be all natural.... Thanks to her I can enjoy the smell of ripe veggies in my hair... Mmmm