Miscellaneous: Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I... - FML

By N - 08/02/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 388

You deserved it 5 245

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Same thing different taste

There's always that one friend…

By seriously? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 305

You deserved it 10 680

Awkward conversation

By anon - 28/12/2019 05:00 - United States - La Puente

Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 623

You deserved it 378

By weirdesout - 05/06/2010 02:03 - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 980

You deserved it 8 743

Sensual moment

By Ekh0es - 11/04/2021 15:30 - United States - Garfield

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 2 501

By Brennan Lebrun - 18/05/2018 05:00

Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 925

You deserved it 369

By 13a5ic H1p5t3r - 15/08/2016 03:58 - United States - Spencer

Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 567

You deserved it 1 913

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 135

You deserved it 3 066

Classic move

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 20:00 - Canada - Saint-jérôme

Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 1 211

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 160

You deserved it 3 658

By DumbFace714 - 14/02/2015 01:43 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 880

You deserved it 2 821

Next

Top comments

katieatieay 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 16:09

you were sorely mistaken.

Roi_fml 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 15:52

... lulwut?

Comments

91Caleb 0

Monday 16 March 2009 22:20

thats not fml thats just wierd

xsydbabyx 0

Monday 23 March 2009 23:11

Your best 'girl' friend, Has a penis. Sux4u.

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:20

I make jokes like that all the time with my friends. She's either joking, or literally wants to. I'm leaning towards the joking option.

RussiasVodka 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:29

I agree, I'm the same with my friends too. By the way, I absolutely love your pic 38 :D

RussiasVodka 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:31

I mean 38, sorry. I fail.

randomstudios 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 6:37

I think you meant #36

intensify 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:32

I've been raped in the neck and kind of liked it.

jbabe 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 2:39

that isn't really an FML thing.

invindia93 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 18:57

Ha! That's what you get.

jennifersaballa 0

Friday 27 March 2009 2:04

Haha, i defiantly said that to my friend before and what i meant was that his voice was sexy and that if it was possible i would rape it not him cause i didn't really find him that attractive but it could also be used for someone attractive. :)

AmusedSunny 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 1:47

It's pretty obvious what happened here. Some guy had said it to her before, meaning he wanted to really thrust her throat, and she was simply repeating it, unwittingly out of gender context.

3daysgrace 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 17:31

LOLWUT http://www.saabcentral.com/phpgallery/albums/album49/Lolwut_verbose.jpg moar info nao plz

carly546 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 5:21

might not be a FML but definitly made me lol

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Keywords

Parenting Kids Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Awkward Friends Poopoo peepee Work Management Frustration Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Technology Mental health Health Anxiety Sleep Clumsy

The Top

Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 511

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 024

You deserved it 3 406

The Top

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 737

You deserved it 2 457

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 630

You deserved it 5 383

Today, after a long time spent trying to learn chess as a hobby, I've come to accept that I'm simply destined to never be any good at it. Maybe I'm just a slow learner, but it feels like I've made zero progress since I started, despite doing everything I'm told to do. Time to find another hobby, I say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 132

Today, my parents met my girlfriend for the first time and cooked us dinner. After, I was helping clean up in the kitchen and my dad says to me, "Don't worry, you have to slay a couple of dragons before you get to the princess." and winks at me. She heard. I was going to propose to her tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 954

You deserved it 3 866

Today, I found out that I can’t get my COVID vaccine due to my chance of going into anaphylactic shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 137

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 965

You deserved it 5 569