Health: Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive....

By Anonymous - 22/09/2012 06:24 - United States

Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 762

You deserved it 62 614

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By Anonymous - 12/10/2023 16:02 - United States - Laramie

Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 122

By devinchi - 11/11/2011 08:42 - United States

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 293

You deserved it 8 196

Polite but wrong

By sucks - 05/01/2011 07:41 - Netherlands

Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 784

You deserved it 34 592

Sir Alan Sugar has spoken

By freckleboy422 - 31/01/2011 09:28 - United States

Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 614

You deserved it 2 826

By themarrowguy - 23/08/2013 10:06 - United States

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 171

You deserved it 4 358

Keep some things to yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Plymouth

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 566

You deserved it 75 782

By Loopylogo - 10/01/2017 14:01

Today, my boss came into the office asked how I was doing and seemed totally normal and happy, then said, "I have to let you go. I heard some bad things about you." He wouldn't tell me what he heard, or from whom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 670

You deserved it 525

By yawho - 25/02/2009 07:25 - Japan

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 382

You deserved it 9 862

Nosferatu

By Kristache - 02/07/2009 08:31 - Canada

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 296

You deserved it 16 398

By Parenting... - 27/08/2013 04:36 - United States - Arlington

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 031

You deserved it 4 577

clueless05 12

Saturday 22 September 2012 12:04

How could you not know that a positive result to a cancer test is bad?

CeCe184 17

Saturday 22 September 2012 12:11

F*** your life? F*** his life, now he sadly has cancer.

Comments

jjacci 12

Saturday 22 September 2012 13:14

Yeah...you deserved that. I can't imagine he said that with a smile on his face, either.

yoloswagg54 9

Saturday 22 September 2012 13:23

You are literally too stupid to insult.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Saturday 22 September 2012 15:07

Your username says the same thing about you, #27.

yoloswagg54 9

Saturday 22 September 2012 15:15

Did you not read my profile? I'm making fun of yolo and swag.

gracehi 31

Saturday 22 September 2012 15:19

27, Thank you.

erinchick1 7

Saturday 22 September 2012 13:26

WTF?? How did you NOT know that??!!

monagro 22

Saturday 22 September 2012 13:27

A positive test means the outcome is "yes". As it was a test for cancer, that means you want a negative outcome.

perdix 29

Saturday 22 September 2012 13:39

I see everyone here is beating up the OP for being ignorant, but let's face it: that terminology is counter-intuitive. In most things, positive is good, negative is bad. Why are we all so high and mighty that the poor bastard wasn't aware of the one context where that is flipped on its head? If he went on to ask him if he can bang his wife after he dies, THAT would be ****** up!

SinghIt 1

Saturday 22 September 2012 14:29

Because clearly the 'poor guy' wasn't thinking about what his boss was telling him and just said the first thing to come to mind when he heard the words positive results

devore504 7

Saturday 22 September 2012 16:18

positive means you have it so baby good cancer not good. the op,his parents and any teacher he ever had should be stoned.

llama612 27

Saturday 22 September 2012 16:22

Because it's very common knowledge that a positive test result means you have whatever you got tested for. OP ****** up badddddddddd

perdix 29

Saturday 22 September 2012 16:39

You all have a very elitist attitude. Some people don't have access to health care, while others are lucky enough to not being exposed to disease very much in their lives, so it's no surprise that they are unaware of the opposite meanings of "positive" and "negative" in this unique context.

llama612 27

Saturday 22 September 2012 16:47

Honestly it's got nothing to do with access to healthcare or not being exposed to diseases, it is very very common knowledge what positive means in medical stuff. Not to mention all the medical dramas and shit on T.V. The only time you should get confused bout the meaning of positive when it comes to medical stuff is if your a child or have lived isolated from humanity since you were like 6

sereyna 1

Saturday 22 September 2012 16:47

Agree

nancyschmancy 9

Saturday 22 September 2012 22:01

I agree with you Perdix. Some of these people on here are not being fair. Op could be 16 years old, never exposed to medical terminology. Just because you know something doesn't mean everyone knows it and doesn't mean op is stupid or short sighted. Lighten up people!