Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin...

By firsttimer69 - 20/03/2009 06:11 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 728

You deserved it 15 193

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 350

You deserved it 38 334

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 15/09/2015 05:56 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 027

You deserved it 4 392

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 563

You deserved it 3 808

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 997

You deserved it 516

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 105

You deserved it 6 455

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 171

You deserved it 4 027

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 647

You deserved it 7 141

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 885

You deserved it 6 152

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 071

You deserved it 59 353

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 777

You deserved it 15 183

jam26 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:03

are you sure he wasn't a virgin? I know most guys finish in like 2 seconds their first time. maybe he lied to you and he was a virgin too

amirn86 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:10

Hey, at least you know you turn him on A LOT This really never happens you can take my word I want to apologize that's just absurd Mainly you're at fault for the way that you dance and now I **** IN MY PANTS Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a **** Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus Now I'll go home and change I **** right in my pants every time you're next to me And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy I wear a rubber at all times cause it's a necessity Cause I **** in my pants

Comments

Tehalon 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:15

Tell him to wank off 3 times before having sex with him next time, then he'll last longer.

djsnipa1 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:17

Just want to let you know, not all of us are premature ;-)

shouldvesaidno 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:18

haha I feel your pain. I was in a relationship for 2 1/2 years and the longest time we had sex was 3 minutes. I thought it was normal because he was my first and I didn't know anything else otherwise.. After a few months of having sex I started talking to my friends about their sex lives and come to find out they go for hours. Long story short we are not together anymore.

SonyIsGod 13

Sunday 2 March 2014 12:24

Lol I have feeling that everyone who thumbed down the above comment is a two-pump-chump.

Gremlinek 16

Sunday 18 May 2014 7:02

13 It's amazing all the stories people tell. After guy has an erection for "hours" he will be screaming in pain if you even breathe on his crotch.

zeno2750 2

Saturday 25 October 2014 23:57

Maybe for you. I lasted 3 hours my first time. I'm guessing you don't know about Kegel Exercises?

funkycloud7137 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:19

At least you know that he now thinks you're great in bed :)

hoeskie69 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:20

#13, thats kind of harsh.. after 2 and a half years, and your willing to dumb him because of sex? Shallow, much?

Damone 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 2:42

well, sex is a very important thing, i say that was a good call for her, everyone is entitled to have the sex life they want, simply the guy wasn't fulfilling her. bet you would do the same

guillermods 3

Tuesday 30 August 2011 11:40

But isn't that something that can be treated? I believe is shallow to break up just because of that.

withered 30

Friday 8 July 2016 11:39

#214 It CAN be treated. The problem is when the partner that has that problem does nothing about it. When he doesn't even try to last longer and doesn't even care about the problem (not using other means to pleasure their partner). It shows how selfish that person is and that they obviously do not care enough about you to make that little bit of effort so sex is enjoyable for you too. And lets be honest - horrible sex is worse than no sex. So if that is the case with your partner I don't blame the other person for leaving.

SilentGround 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:22

HAHAHAHAHA @ #9

alotta_fachina 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:23

he's pathetic -_-

blackdogassault 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:24

To all the people saying virgins are done fast, not quite true. I had such a hard time that I gave up on that on my first time while still having an erection. And maybe he has a virgin fetish and won't be so damn fast next time. Who knows.

clamore 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:25

Oh my gosh, get over it everyone! Poor guy! This is probably the first time he's had sex in a long while if he was waiting for his virgin girlfriend to be ready- and there's nothing wrong with that! He got excited and let loose too early. Next time will be better.

anon_mou5 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:25

1st time i was supposed to have sex - he "finished" when putting the condom on! i hear u girl :( i hope it gets better for you! never gotten better for me!!!