By firsttimer69 - 20/03/2009 06:11 - Canada

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
I agree, your life sucks 151 728
You deserved it 15 193
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

jam26 0

are you sure he wasn't a virgin? I know most guys finish in like 2 seconds their first time. maybe he lied to you and he was a virgin too

195 2
amirn86 0

Hey, at least you know you turn him on A LOT This really never happens you can take my word I want to apologize that's just absurd Mainly you're at fault for the way that you dance and now I **** IN MY PANTS Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a **** Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus Now I'll go home and change I **** right in my pants every time you're next to me And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy I wear a rubber at all times cause it's a necessity Cause I **** in my pants

150 11

Comments

nightmaregolem1 0

not really an FML its more like he just sucks in the sack

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carpe_cotidie 0

At #70: "i agree with #69 position. It is a good one." That's hilarious. I hope you commented with that double meaning by accident. Also, more related: go for round two, be supportive, etc. His pride is probably hurting. Don't let it be only about him though. Try the second meaning #70 had. 69ing is a great way to make sure you are both happy. Good luck! And don't give up on sex. Shit happens.

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nomo_fml 0

Pretty sure he's a virgin, if he fails that fast.

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AliSama 17

#84 i do agree with #69 plus i thought it would make people laugh a little. lol. considering the poster is named firstimer69. i have no experience with the 69 position or any position, so i cannot say one way or the other if it is good or not. But like you said, it will probably work better for her. lol

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jara9801 0

for the record sex is NOT supposed to be like that, lol

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Paulspacefdot 0

GIve the guy a break... it was a 'warning shot'... just give him some recovery time and tell him he's not leaving until after the third inning. Oh, and I should mention that it DOES get better with practice :-)

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shauna_fml 0

Yeah that happens sometimes. Don't take it personally, sometimes guys are just so horny that they can't hold it in much longer. If you want it to last longer next time, you should go on top. Guys are able to control themselves more on the bottom.

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threegp 0

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 30 SECONDS!?!?!?!?!?!?!? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

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shauna_fml 0

And all the people calling this guy pathetic - you obviously don't have sex much because the more you do the more you'll realize that this is normal for most guys. Just like it's normal for most girls not to get an ****** just from sex alone.

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allstarplayer324 0

#9- is my hero...i was actually just thinking about that song when i read this! haha, but at least your guy didn't **** in his pants...thats happened to me before..... And he probably wasn't lying about being a virgin, i mean if he doesn't improve it is kinda pathetic cause you probably barely got excited after 30 seconds..give it a few more tries.

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