Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin...

By firsttimer69 - 20/03/2009 06:11 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 728

You deserved it 15 193

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Same thing different taste

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 350

You deserved it 38 334

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 15/09/2015 05:56 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 027

You deserved it 4 392

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 563

You deserved it 3 808

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 997

You deserved it 516

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 105

You deserved it 6 455

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 171

You deserved it 4 027

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 647

You deserved it 7 141

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 885

You deserved it 6 152

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 071

You deserved it 59 353

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 777

You deserved it 15 183

jam26 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:03

are you sure he wasn't a virgin? I know most guys finish in like 2 seconds their first time. maybe he lied to you and he was a virgin too

amirn86 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:10

Hey, at least you know you turn him on A LOT This really never happens you can take my word I want to apologize that's just absurd Mainly you're at fault for the way that you dance and now I **** IN MY PANTS Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a **** Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus Now I'll go home and change I **** right in my pants every time you're next to me And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy I wear a rubber at all times cause it's a necessity Cause I **** in my pants

Comments

patty_gunner 0

Friday 20 March 2009 17:18

#29, you're not alone. lets hear it for the few good guys left

Idovon 0

Friday 20 March 2009 17:20

This is more like, **** HIS life..

Matu92 0

Friday 20 March 2009 17:23

How the hell can you last hours?! I want to know ;) #21 "Or teach him some sex art, someone people can go for over 2 hours"

Damone 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 2:54

you just need to chill and enjoy it.. dont start thinkin "oh shit, im almost there, calm calm the **** down" cause if you do, u must likely done pal. just enjoy the show, try different positions, use you imagination, sex its not all about penetration you now? its a "whole" of everything involved. same for the girls who cant cum, chill the **** down and enjoy it, every will come at the right time, dont rush things.

MrJentipede 2

Friday 20 March 2009 17:24

GIRUGAMESH!

Kitten125 0

Friday 20 March 2009 17:25

#29. Your awesome. He was nervous your first time! ... better luck next time? :P

Shuface 0

Friday 20 March 2009 17:30

I'm a chick, and I don't feel anything during sex; something medical, I don't know what quite yet, going to the doctor to find out soon. My boyfriend probably only lasts like, 10 minutes tops of actual sex, and I don't really care at all XD After reading a lot of these comments, I can't help but be sort of disgusted. This might be because I don't know what it feels like so can't make an unbiased judgment, but seriously... if my boyfriend only lasting 10 minutes would lead me to -ever- consider dumping him, then I'm damn glad that I don't feel anything, because being that stupid isn't worth all the pleasure in the world.

Damone 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 2:56

u dont feel anything, that really sucks u cant really say anything then, until u know how it feels, u will now that 30 seconds aint shit

broken_lungs 0

Friday 20 March 2009 17:34

#29 I agree with you & I'm a girl. The guy was probably nervous about making it special for you. Don't be so hard on him. :]

Bubs_fml 0

Friday 20 March 2009 17:37

#23: Aw, DARN! You have me there... xD Jokes aside, let's here it for the nice guys! Cheers for getting walked all over by women! Yay! #47: [Beavis] Heh-hehhehheh...hard...hehhehheh...[/Beavis]