Love: Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss,...

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 912

You deserved it 38 049

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Halitosis

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 288

By disgustedgf - 28/06/2011 07:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 937

You deserved it 8 752

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 931

You deserved it 5 124

Clean

By gag! - 10/12/2022 00:00

Today, my boyfriend complained that I "treat him like a child" by asking him if he’s brushed his teeth before we kiss. Gee maybe if he brushed regularly like a fucking adult, I wouldn’t HAVE to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 216

By Amelia - 23/06/2019 00:16

Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 236

By nicole - 22/09/2011 10:31 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 399

You deserved it 5 428

Fresh mints

By Julian - 22/12/2008 07:45 - France

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 200

You deserved it 44 960

Seduction technique

By BlueBirdWings - 06/03/2012 07:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 789

You deserved it 6 804

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 043

You deserved it 7 731

By PookaKay02 - 20/09/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 036

You deserved it 8 630

Mischief109 11

Monday 18 June 2012 18:59

What I'm wondering is why did you make out without brushing your teeth first?!

EvilTwerp 12

Monday 18 June 2012 18:59

Maybe you should brush your teeth. Not everyone likes to be disgusting.

Comments

tj4234 35

Tuesday 19 June 2012 0:34

if he said that then you're kind of lucky he still kisses you tbh. Because he's probably noticed it before and not said anything.

ktizzley2k 8

Tuesday 19 June 2012 0:48

Atleast he was nice about he could have said "Yo Bitch, you got a nasty-ass mouth. Go brush that shit and make me a sammich!"

Feared 9

Tuesday 19 June 2012 0:58

Better than having to say.. "you should wash your v___.

sambudd14 2

Tuesday 19 June 2012 1:01

Shuttle hint of roast beef, what a kiss!

MissMae93 23

Tuesday 19 June 2012 3:36

"A vehicle of transport" hint of roast beef? That doesn't make much sense. There might be a subtle hint of roast beef though.

isaact89 4

Tuesday 19 June 2012 1:07

nex time make sure u brush them before seing him ... I bet that was awkws :s

Loaf_of_soph 0

Tuesday 19 June 2012 1:11

I'm just wondering why he licked your teeth....?!

Meesersuperman1 4

Tuesday 19 June 2012 1:23

That's an FML for him not you.

nsmy96 4

Tuesday 19 June 2012 1:37

It was probably plaque o.O

zandalee 19

Tuesday 19 June 2012 2:48

Christ! Where the heck has the romance & passion gone in your relationship? Not the best sign I don't think...

cassi135t 1

Tuesday 19 June 2012 2:56

Hot dammmn. :P

tw416 6

Tuesday 19 June 2012 21:13

Someone watched stick figures on crack haha

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 365

Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 094

You deserved it 200

The Top

Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 099

You deserved it 5 257

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 380

You deserved it 3 715

Today, I'm stuck between my absolute resolve to never have children, due to how abhorrent I find the idea of having to raise them to adulthood, and my fear that if I don’t have any, I’ll end up old and alone, probably die alone, and the body won’t be discovered until a neighbour notices the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 546

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 706

You deserved it 3 799

Today, I tested positive for Covid. Not only do I feel absolutely miserable, but I was at work all day yesterday, interacting with the public. Also, the day before that, I hung out at a friend's house with a 3-month-old infant. If any one of them get Covid, it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 453

Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 852

You deserved it 310