Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and...

By ginny - 10/09/2009 17:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 261

You deserved it 8 253

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Same thing different taste

Let me Slytherin

By Wisconsin love - 13/12/2010 17:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 998

You deserved it 10 971

By harrypottermuch - 26/11/2009 11:50 - Canada

Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 342

You deserved it 43 095

Movie night

By nah - 11/06/2021 11:01

Today, my boyfriend finally convinced me to watch Harry Potter for the first time. I was bored out of my mind the entire time, and by about an hour in, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to punch Hermione for being a rude little know it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 1 716

Alone time

By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 12:12 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 960

You deserved it 3 773

By Degueusement - 18/08/2014 04:48 - France - Puteaux

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 795

You deserved it 11 020

By Bisounours - 22/07/2011 11:23 - France

Today, I went to see the new Harry Potter movie with my boyfriend. Feeling an intense need to pee, he decided to sacrifice a few minutes of the movie before the highly-anticipated final combat to get some relief. He went through the wrong door, locking himself out. Right until the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 811

You deserved it 1 414

By inconnue - 18/03/2013 22:34 - France - Lyon

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 644

You deserved it 9 146

By harrysolo - 19/07/2009 01:26 - United States

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 572

You deserved it 65 212

By whorecrux - 02/07/2013 03:37 - United States - Newark

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 928

You deserved it 9 845

Easy

By pokie - 30/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 927

You deserved it 9 445

PimpinPenguin 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 23:12

You should have cast an enlargement spell on him

JoeDotPadilla 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 23:15

It coulda been worse. He coulda been Voldemort.

Comments

deliapearl 0

Friday 11 September 2009 9:48

FAKE. and even it it's real, YDI for doing it with him anyway

Colinm69 0

Friday 11 September 2009 11:03

I agree mate... this is sooo fake. why put up a fake FML... it's so lame

kaitlynadele 0

Friday 11 September 2009 18:21

ENGORGIO!

glitchead 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 8:28

2 things. 1, I love you. No one ever remembers the names! and 2, REDUCIO! **** blocked!

Stellaritsmeg 0

Friday 11 September 2009 18:52

At least he wasn't your "Edward"... Sick.

trajikkomidy 0

Friday 11 September 2009 21:10

your boyfriend is a douche

hanarose_fml 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 2:28

omg that would be such a turn on for me XD your boyfriend is freaking awesome!

jackie_of_spades 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 5:35

I fail to see how this is an FML.

silly_kate 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 5:56

um, wow. this is somewhat sad and hilarious, but give him a break, he's your bf and he was just trying to make things a little more fun!

dELiA14 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 20:40

WTF?!? y r u complaining?!? THIS DUDE ROCKS

caliloveex3 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 20:42

OHH HUNN THATS HORRIBLE!!! why did you agree doing it then?

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 3 940

Today, I’m 15 and my mother banned me from watching YouTube because it’s "distracting." What the f***? How? Now I have to pretend that I've watched the things my friends send me so they won’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 441

The Top

Today, after my poly relationship with a married couple ended, I found out that the wife is blaming me for their divorce. To avoid embarrassment She told everyone around town, including my employer, that I’m a homewrecker. Nevermind SHE’S the one who introduced me and ASKED me to be their third. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 559

Today, our boat broke down in the middle of a lake at sunset. We called our friend for help, and his truck and trailer got stuck in mud at the boat ramp. We called the sheriff's office to tow his vehicle out of the mud. The tow strap broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 152

Today, I realized that the only times I get to hang out with my friends outside of school are when one of them accidentally mentions plans in front of me and they are obligated by social protocol to invite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 697

You deserved it 3 241

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 562

You deserved it 29 926

Today, one of my cats peed all over the back of my couch, so I put her outside for a while. When I let her in, she ran straight to the couch and peed on my laptop. This has been going on ever since I accidentally stepped on her tail, several months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 781

You deserved it 12 154

Today, I was told that a coworker of mine absolutely hates me. Why? Because sometimes I have a slight stutter, and he thinks I'm mocking his very apparent stutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 79