Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and... - FML

By Saradee - 24/12/2012 04:55 - United States - Inglewood

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 198

You deserved it 10 966

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

This ain't working out

By just a reaction - 17/08/2020 23:09

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 050

You deserved it 335

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 083

You deserved it 9 132

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 363

You deserved it 5 691

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 310

You deserved it 5 110

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 776

You deserved it 7 875

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 709

You deserved it 6 015

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 416

You deserved it 26 468

By I warned him - 19/12/2014 02:39 - United States - Marietta

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 113

You deserved it 4 641

By myasshurts - 14/10/2011 23:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 729

You deserved it 6 664

Are you experienced?

By still laughing - 28/08/2015 21:48 - United States - Providence

Spicy

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 511

You deserved it 5 104

Next

Top comments

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Monday 24 December 2012 9:38

Wear a chastity belt next time and scream," YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

Roguedork19 8

Monday 24 December 2012 9:44

No, this is Patrick. O.o

Comments

MissLynn13 6

Monday 24 December 2012 16:20

That's hilarious! I would laugh so much if my boyfriend did that (as long as he didn't hurt me in the process).

suri23 11

Monday 24 December 2012 16:42

Sigh....Guys.....

ColbyM88 5

Monday 24 December 2012 16:44

they should have a "this is awesome" button. for moments like these.

Jakeymd 9

Monday 24 December 2012 16:53

HAHAHAHAHAHA

thejust666 6

Monday 24 December 2012 17:24

Awesome.

GlitterScribbles 9

Monday 24 December 2012 17:27

No guy is entitled to a girl dating them. Nobody thinks someone bitching and moaning about the friend zone and "why didn't she like me, I'm a Nice Guy!!" is attractive, and I imagine that's what you do. And really, nobody deserves to be punted off the bed right after sex.

Sporkly 26

Monday 24 December 2012 17:34

There's no such thing as "friend-zoning". "Friend-zoned" guys only ever compliment a girl and get pissed when she won't **** them.

beehardxcore 26

Monday 24 December 2012 17:47

I feel a little bad for you OP, but I'm not gonna lie. I laughed. It's pretty funny. :]

DirectorLincoln 12

Monday 24 December 2012 17:47

At least he's got a good sense of humor!

backfat 6

Monday 24 December 2012 17:55

Your boyfriend is amazing hahaha

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I agree, your life sucks 546

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