Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing...

By our kids will be derps - 22/06/2013 19:28 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 481

You deserved it 6 946

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By tine - 16/11/2014 09:44 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 591

You deserved it 3 775

By seriously? - 22/12/2012 22:19 - United States - Spring

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 539

You deserved it 7 574

Nature calls

By anon - 27/07/2023 22:00

Today, my idiot boyfriend, who thinks he's an outdoorsman, made sauce from mushrooms he'd foraged. I refused to eat it. He got upset and had two helpings. He's now in bed, whining about how bad he feels. Stupid dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 181

By yeah hun i think insects arent animals too - 09/10/2013 07:51 - Germany - Leipzig

Today, I yet again had to pretend to be a dumb bimbo so that my boyfriend wouldn't get upset over the fact that, in some cases, I might be smarter than him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 616

You deserved it 23 876

Cheers!

By imamonster1992 - 24/12/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got rejected by his dream college. In an effort to comfort him, I told him that he is incredibly smart and that it's their loss. He replied, "Of course you think so, you're an idiot!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 961

You deserved it 4 981

By randomjulz - 16/06/2011 03:53 - United States

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 275

You deserved it 9 978

By spadesmollusques - 06/06/2016 05:13 - France - Strasbourg

Today, my 10-year-old son introduced me to Tom, his new best friend, and insisted we have him over to dinner. Tom is a slug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 071

You deserved it 1 359

By hellostupid - 28/03/2013 08:19 - United States

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 4 811

So romantic

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 596

You deserved it 8 052

By fledermausi - 12/06/2012 13:02 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 848

You deserved it 3 112

Helloilike_lacro 8

Sunday 23 June 2013 2:10

It sounds logical to me

SamSwebb 24

Sunday 23 June 2013 2:12

They don't?!

Comments

buckdharma 36

Sunday 23 June 2013 5:53

A slug is a snail without wheels. Where es car got? I dunno.

ashlyn_is_here 8

Sunday 23 June 2013 6:08

Well now I feel dumb...

AngrySailor 17

Sunday 23 June 2013 6:35

'I especially liked the "slug balancer"' "licorice all sort?"

yukiokashi 12

Sunday 23 June 2013 6:41

he needs a better school!

LyraAlluse 25

Sunday 23 June 2013 6:49

Also I hear some snails meow and live under the sea.

Monkeybandit95 3

Sunday 23 June 2013 7:18

The slug is a gastropod which does not have a shell or has a very small internal one, while snails have a large external shell that they can fully retract into, so they are two very different creatures