By highfive - 17/10/2014 01:27 - United States - Dedham

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 350
You deserved it 7 132
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Pwib 14

Can you really give it "five" if it doesn't have a hand?

213 6

Comments

darwinism 30

Next time you are a little late, give your ****** a fist pump, just to see his reaction.

78 5
Just_A_Tree 20

*sarcastic tone* If you give high fives after a good game, then doesn't the same go for good sex? Sometimes, ya gotta let the other team know that they did good. Right?

3 30
Ki11erC 18

But this is after a period. So, high five for good period?

6 2
stevothedevo 25

*Sarcastic tone* Your obviously not a Virgin..

11 6
Wakachulak 22

Tell him how you love the fact he's sterile because that way you can keep him on the side when you decide to marry and have kids.

40 6
Sionnach 10

Sterility FTW! Be glad this idiot isn't likely to breed anytime soon.

3 14
Cass_x 22

.. How old are you guys? Anyway, having kids is a topic you should've talked about earlier if you decided to have sex without protection. Or you could ask him now why he doesnt wanna have kids (if you're not like 16 years old or something)

12 3
martin8337 35

He probably doesn't want kids because he realizes that we live in an overpopulated and underfed world, that being said, he needs to use a condom.

6 12
slyde32 12

how in the hell are we underfed? do you not know what a grocery store is?

0 15
Polynomial 28

65, i scoff at 32 too, but their point is valid. Yours is not. You sir, are an idiot.

8 2
martin8337 35

#65 how many grocery stores are out the the African desert? Just an example.

6 1
martin8337 35

In the future, wars will be fought not over ideology, but for resources such as food, water and energy because there won't be enough of any of those for everyone. And let's not forget about poverty.

1 3
slyde32 12

I think it's pretty safe to assume op doesn't live in the African desert

4 2
martin8337 35

That's not the point.

0 1
8born8 18

Today's (1st world) society is the most over fed and under nourished. The food we get from supermarkets and even some grocery stores, isn't as fresh as they would want you to believe. We need to start teaching the little uns the value of home grown fresh food from the garden.

1 1
Fou_Lou 20

Uhhhh shouldn't your boyfriend high five the method of contraceptive measures used?

0 1
criss90 19

I guess you will keep getting your period since he does that to his genitals frequently

18 1
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

If you're two are having unprotected sex although you don't want to have a baby, you're both idiots.

24 2
seriouslygrowup 11

Just an observation, but you'd think that by now you're used to it or dumped him? I generally see so many people complain about things they can obviously change in their lives. But I guess society likes to complain rather than getting over the fact they can't change it, or change it. *high five*

11 2
Brandi_Faith 33

I think in a lot of those cases it's something that isn't a deal breaker but it's still a bit annoying so people tend to vent about it to a friend or family member so they don't vent about it to the person they're with. In this case specifically, I imagine it's not a deal breaker, something she's used to, and it probably doesn't really bother her but it was a good FML to get posted. Either way this is FML and a site to vent about things as well as joke about things or word things a certain way for a better worded/funnier FML.

3 1