Love: Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he...

By Shelly P. - 29/01/2012 00:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 531

You deserved it 3 547

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Same thing different taste

By Jason - 14/02/2018 15:00

Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 240

You deserved it 661

By fmmmmlll - 12/06/2012 05:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 205

You deserved it 2 450

Empathy

By KidCudi227 - 23/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 285

By blacklove - 12/02/2010 20:19 - United States

Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read, "It's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 577

You deserved it 2 709

By Oh hells no - 16/09/2013 07:26 - United States - Los Altos

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 557

You deserved it 12 141

So brave…

By just say you want to leave! - 02/10/2023 16:00

Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 102

Mixed signals

By marie - 28/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 116

By Anonymous - 14/09/2009 09:41 - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 099

You deserved it 4 378

By anonymous - 16/02/2015 12:57 - Australia - Rockdale

Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 623

You deserved it 2 982

By nightowl506 - 21/11/2011 07:22 - United States

Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 912

You deserved it 4 034

Shelbyyyyyyy 4

Sunday 29 January 2012 9:17

At least you got roses.

bbedlock_fml 7

Sunday 29 January 2012 9:18

That's an, um, creative way to break up with someone.

Comments

unmistakablyamaz 4

Monday 30 January 2012 1:33

I think we should give him two thumbs up for creativity... That does suck though OP

ilyforeva11 3

Monday 30 January 2012 3:10

well thats mean .............. thumbs up for his creativity ........................ kill those roses one time

josebaseball11 14

Monday 30 January 2012 3:30

So you now have a few days to get him back.

Eternal94 10

Monday 30 January 2012 3:35

At a new idea how to break up with a girl without saying "I broke up with you" ?

Eternal94 10

Monday 30 January 2012 3:39

Is that*

Eternal94 10

Monday 30 January 2012 3:37

Break*

babygirllove 0

Monday 30 January 2012 4:40

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry what an asshole )':

strawberryspacejam 11

Monday 30 January 2012 5:21

give him a corpse flower and tell him youll love him when the flower smells good, and it never will

ipoopinshoes 2

Monday 30 January 2012 5:48

At least you got roses. That's probably the most romantic break up I've ever heard.

chengy4191 7

Monday 30 January 2012 5:52

Sorry but that's too funny XD

JaSM7 4

Monday 30 January 2012 6:06

I hope you don't stay with him until the last rose dies...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 973

You deserved it 10 416

Today, while applying deodorant, my mom came up behind me slapped the stick out of my hand, and confiscated it, saying, “No one needs deodorant when it’s this cold.” At work, I got so many complaints about my B.O that I was sent home to go take a shower. I shower every single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 162

The Top

Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 768

You deserved it 4 769

Today, my grandpa forgot that my aunt set up a baby monitor in his bedroom in case of a fall. I’m sitting in the living room with his wife - who is deaf - and I hear him moaning over the baby monitor. My grandfather was jerking off and forgot that someone could hear him. I wish I could forget too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 140

Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 833

You deserved it 126 219

Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 682

You deserved it 306

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 601

You deserved it 6 207

Today, my wife was sitting next to me surrounded by friends and she decided to start looking up the man that she had an affair on Facebook on her phone - all while I am sitting right next to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 588

You deserved it 280

Same thing different taste

Empathy

So brave…

Mixed signals

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