Maybe she likes her weight, doesn't mean his boyfriend does. He has all the right to leave her then. Like someone said earlier, life is too short to stay with someone you're not attracted to.

Unless you're hoping to live a long life, I guess. If it's just a friends with benefits thing, it's all about looks for me. An actual relationship has to consist of much more.

*n't care less what I weigh as long as *I'M* happy. Things happen for a reason. I was with my ex for 4 years and we were engaged and I thank God every day that I didn't get stuck in that relationship! My ex was basically so insecure with himself that he had to push off his insecurities on someone else. (He did it to all his gf's, I found out later)

#63: Lol have fun in a couple of years when you get pregnant and your guy says, "well, we had a no heifer clause" and leaves you.

agreed. What happens when the baby fat doesn't come off quickly enough? That's one of the major reasons I knew it couldnt work with my ex. I was 135 (5'6") when I met him. I didn't start gaining till he started pushing me to lose. When he tried to control every aspect of my weight, I started gorging myself and gained about 40 pounds over the 4 years we were together. Had he left me alone, I wouldn't have felt the need to binge and eat whenever he wasn't around. I was always fairly thin till I met him. I actually asked him once, "What happens if we have a kid and the baby weight doesn't come off easily?" His response was that, "If it doesn't come off quickly, it's because you wouldn't be trying." Any time I tried to do something for myself: Make up a routine, create a sheet to track my progress, he would end up using it against me. He'd decide results weren't coming quickly enough. Sorry, but any guy who causes that kind of mental trauma doesn't deserve a good person. That would be why he's 43, unmarried, and will be single forever.

Food for thought- fat does not come from nowhere, and energy does not come from nowhere. I cite the laws of thermodynamics for these. One pound of fat has a maximum potential energy value of 3500 calories. Your body requires a set amount of energy to function and maintain your body weight. Your food intake either meets this exactly, exceeds it, or comes up short. When your energy requirements are met exactly, your body weight remains static. When your energy requirements are exceeded, sugars are burned furst, denser carbohydrates second, and fat last. A portion of excess fat is stored in the body, sugars and starches and the rest of the excess fat pass through as waste. When your energy requirements are not met, stored fat and lean muscle are consumed to make up the difference. Depending on your circumstance, the ratio of these is different. If you have a relatively high caloric intake and are physically active, the body consumes more of its fat reserves and almost no lean muscle. If you have a very low caloric intake and are not very physically active, the body has a tendency to consume lean muscle more (low calorie intake + low activity basically 'convinces' the body that you're in a starvation situation, and that survival is more important than physical fitness. Muscle is easier to burn than fat). This is across the board. Someone who has a "fast" metabolism in fact has an inefficient metabolism, meaning that they don't burn what they take in perfectly and a sizeable amount of it is excreted and wasted. Someone with a "slow" metabolism" in fact has a more efficient one, and makes use of a higher proportion of the food they take in. Women gain weight beyond whats needed to sustain them and their children while pregnant because the hormonal changes force their metabolism to be more efficient, and "waste" less of the food taken in. This is because, essentially, the body prioritizes proper nutrition for baby over personal well-being of mommy. If that wasn't already OBVIOUS from the myriad other changes that come forth. And yes, it is a monumentally bad idea for a woman to attempt to control her weight while pregnant- However, once the baby's here, I would think she would want to get back to where she was afterwards- both for her personal well being, and because HOPEFULLY she would want to be attractive to her mate. Regardless of how slow your metabolism is though- Fat does NOT appear out of thin air, and the body does NOT run without a source of energy. Both of these are IMPOSSIBLE. If you digest more potential energy worth of food than you need, you will gain weight. If you digest less potential energy worth of food than you need, you will lose weight. If you digest 500 calories worth of food than you need every single day, you will burn through 3500 calories worth of fat/muscle each week. If you are active enough and still eating sensibly (ie. burning 2500 calories a day and taking in 2000), that will be most, if not all, fat, and you will lose 1 pound a week, and 52 pounds in a year. If you are less active and not eating sensibly (burning 1500 calories a day and taking in 1000), then a sizeable portion of that will be lean muscle. You will lose MORE weight total, but a signficiant portion of it will be muscle mass. Thats all there is to it. So basically, with these "OH NOES I GOT FAT :( :( :(" FML's, if you have a medical condition or are currently pregnant then yes, FYL. In any other situation, including any time beyond a year after childbirth, then YDI. QED.

You're correct in saying that guy is an ass, but it's not valid to blame him for your weight gain. Just because you have the urge to binge doesn't mean you have to do it. I somehow doubt he either force-fed you or locked the treadmill in the basement. So yeah, he's an asshole, but your weight gain? YDI.

I totally understand that I gained the weight. I'm stubborn. I don't like being told what to do. The issue came when every fight we had over the 4 years we were together was about my weight. He would praise me when I was working hard, but 2 days later decide it wasn't enough. He tried to control it all, so when he wasn't around, yeah, I ate. One day he would decide I wasn't attractive enough, the next I was beautiful. I was very clear about what worked to reinforce and what didn't. He always went for the negative criticism instead of the positive. Obviously, he understands it was wrong since he's apologized since. The ONLY reason I don't harbor any ill will towards him is because I think all the drugs he took when he was younger warped his brain and killed off any of the intelligence he had. Hell, his ex-fiance had to come show him how "thin" she was when she lost a ton of weight when she got cancer. His were beyond normal critiques and got into women's heads. After we broke up, I lost 25 pounds simply by not having that pressure on me. When Im not constantly being reminded about food, I don't eat as much. When I'm not being told I CANT have something, I dont crave it. So, yeah, he didn't force the food down my throat, but knowing my reaction, he continued to push the buttons that would lead me down that road!