Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear...

By Subliminal message - 19/01/2014 23:21 - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 742

You deserved it 8 497

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 026

You deserved it 4 681

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 731

You deserved it 5 665

Gaslighting

By -__- - 11/08/2013 16:26 - Greece - Athens

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering, "You want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 001

You deserved it 5 735

By ohno - 10/03/2010 11:05 - United States

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 365

You deserved it 29 679

By Indigo_Kitten - 08/08/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 982

You deserved it 19 056

The Wire

By whorica139 - 02/09/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 689

You deserved it 30 693

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 959

You deserved it 14 588

Classy

By Username - 07/06/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 979

You deserved it 13 039

By bugger - 22/02/2015 17:31

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 071

You deserved it 5 180

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 420

You deserved it 6 884

then000bster 16

Monday 20 January 2014 11:41

Just ask him if he wants one, then deny ever asking him if he wanted one.

Askzombie 14

Monday 20 January 2014 11:34

Illuminati strikes again.

Comments

bell_pinkk 8

Thursday 13 February 2014 7:22

maybe you have a horny ghost

Capt_Colorz 8

Friday 14 February 2014 23:59

Dam...that is one horny man

darkfireflame 15

Saturday 15 February 2014 16:09

I'd have smacked him in the face.

museerux01 10

Sunday 16 February 2014 19:11

okay i laughed... hard.

emmanuelwade 9

Sunday 25 May 2014 3:17

That's fucken halrious I'ma do this

AngelGoneWrong95 9

Friday 1 August 2014 12:22

he's been watching too much South Park

rileyks 5

Friday 24 October 2014 14:54

That's not an fml that's just funny

Wouldbking 4

Saturday 22 November 2014 18:44

Wanna bet he watched the south Park episode about Broadway :D

iwusinger47 2

Thursday 23 April 2015 21:55

I would have laughed so hard. That's so funny

Solano2580 24

Wednesday 2 September 2015 7:58

South Park :/

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Mental health Work Awkward AITA Am I overreacting? Love Social Media Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Dogs Animals Sleep Cute Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 39

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because my ex tells every girl I go out with that I cheated on her. She DMs them screenshots of what I did. I know I’m no saint, but all that was 6 months ago, and it was an accident. I can’t change the past, but I can be sorry for what I did. I just can’t win in this situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 992

The Top

Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 581

You deserved it 2 141

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 544

You deserved it 3 624

Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 415

You deserved it 3 695

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 017

You deserved it 28 925

Today, I got into a car accident. The car I hit belongs to my girlfriend's father. We never met before. He strongly believes in "first impressions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 346

You deserved it 6 753

Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 200

You deserved it 7 690

Same thing different taste

Gaslighting

The Wire

Classy

Top comments

Comments