Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear...

By Subliminal message - 19/01/2014 23:21 - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 742

You deserved it 8 497

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 026

You deserved it 4 681

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 731

You deserved it 5 665

Gaslighting

By -__- - 11/08/2013 16:26 - Greece - Athens

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering, "You want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 001

You deserved it 5 735

By ohno - 10/03/2010 11:05 - United States

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 365

You deserved it 29 679

By Indigo_Kitten - 08/08/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 982

You deserved it 19 056

The Wire

By whorica139 - 02/09/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 689

You deserved it 30 693

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 959

You deserved it 14 588

Classy

By Username - 07/06/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 979

You deserved it 13 039

By bugger - 22/02/2015 17:31

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 071

You deserved it 5 180

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 420

You deserved it 6 884

then000bster 16

Monday 20 January 2014 11:41

Just ask him if he wants one, then deny ever asking him if he wanted one.

Askzombie 14

Monday 20 January 2014 11:34

Illuminati strikes again.

Comments

Oshuman94 9

Tuesday 21 January 2014 3:03

hahahahaah

dreadbeat69 12

Tuesday 21 January 2014 11:40

Oh wow, F your life. Your boyfriend wanted a bj. What a tragedy that never happens to anyone else. Excellent post!

DanielleinDC 33

Tuesday 21 January 2014 20:22

You can always tell him that you don't pay attention to stupid subliminal messages.

harshallmeim69 9

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:33

this is honestly hilarious

Eivana 37

Wednesday 22 January 2014 8:24

I was expecting a lot of South Park comments.

luminis12 23

Wednesday 22 January 2014 11:31

Your boyfriend is a genius

6FootUnder 11

Wednesday 22 January 2014 11:36

Just give him a ******** holy shit lol.

bigpops 12

Thursday 23 January 2014 9:30

give it to him...don't be the selfish one....

Xotoolyxo 16

Thursday 23 January 2014 20:59

If he ever asks for one again, tell him you didn't hear anything and it's probably just god giving you subliminal messages

leo812 11

Thursday 30 January 2014 1:52

everytime he asks you for a ******* now just tell him you heard a subliminal message telling you to not do it.

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You deserved it 207

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 134

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You deserved it 243

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I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 642

Same thing different taste

Gaslighting

The Wire

Classy

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