Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good... - FML

By confused - 28/09/2011 04:55 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 218

You deserved it 8 725

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Same thing different taste

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 655

You deserved it 6 224

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 042

You deserved it 7 731

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Spicy

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 250

You deserved it 32 739

By ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 255

You deserved it 5 688

By FYLyfer - 26/10/2009 21:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 037

You deserved it 5 616

By Anonymous - 02/08/2015 05:19 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 737

You deserved it 3 525

Sweet talker

By Anonymous - 21/04/2011 13:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 362

You deserved it 12 922

The apple of my eye

By anonymous - 17/07/2020 08:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 338

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Spicy

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 781

You deserved it 4 767

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 410

You deserved it 19 275

Next

Top comments

CraneTG 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 11:57

Yes you should, cause there is nothing better than crispy bacon

saIty 17

Wednesday 28 September 2011 11:58

Wow you should feel honored. That is one of the most complimentary compliment I have heard in my life. Be proud you know how to work it girl.

Comments

lkrunner101 7

Thursday 29 September 2011 1:10

Yes.. Yes you should

perdix 29

Thursday 29 September 2011 1:23

Are you sure he said crispy and not Kevin? Just checking.

ashley0515ijb 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 1:36

bacon os ****!!

ReverendDC 2

Thursday 29 September 2011 1:51

he really loves you a lot...

Seeninbed 1

Thursday 29 September 2011 2:01

I guess he wants to eat u up

Famguy2083 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 2:29

In response to #8 if my woman tasted like bacon while going down on her I would need a scuba tank cause I wouldnt be coming up and as for the fml not even you should be flattered as hell that is an epic comparison

okieraider71 4

Thursday 29 September 2011 2:34

I hear wedding bells.

mhmike51 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 3:15

obviously a complement

yaknowiverse 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 3:17

how could you take it as an insult?! IT'S BACON FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!

IPoopedOnU 12

Thursday 29 September 2011 3:25

Bacon IZ awesome!

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The Top

Today, I came home early from business trip to Paris, where I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of two years out and propose to her. I sneaked into our house as a surprise and… she was having sex with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 490

You deserved it 4 181

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 389

The Top

Today, I went to the gym. Once in the changing room, I realized I'd left my headphones at home. I had to work out without any music, so I spent the next 90 minutes being reminded how loud and obnoxious some gym-goers can be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 676

Today, I was at the gas station with my grandma. After I slid her card and began to pump, I convinced her that it was a lot easier and more convenient to pay at the pump with your credit card instead of paying inside. She yelled as I realized I went $20 over what she had to spend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 095

You deserved it 41 408

Today, I found out my father sleeps in the nude, when I rushed into my parents room at night to inform them there was a bat in the house. I’m traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 620

Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 727

You deserved it 2 167

Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 676

You deserved it 883

Today, my abusive ex-boyfriend contacted me for the first time in almost 14 years, to apologize for how he treated me while we were still together. It brought back all the old memories that I thought I had finally overcome, and made me have such a bad panic attack that I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 149