Love: Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let...

By TaffyMichele - 13/09/2012 23:38 - United States - La Verne

Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 049

You deserved it 3 797

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

By poisonivyandbigfoot - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 588

You deserved it 403

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 401

You deserved it 4 267

By biggirlsdocry - 06/03/2012 13:56 - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 325

You deserved it 4 720

Sussy baka

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 20:00

Today, when my boyfriend got home, I told him about how I’d had the worst day with our baby. Without blinking, he told me to say the word and he’d drive to a different city and anonymously surrender our son to a fire station and all our suffering would be over. He was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 436

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 11:28 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 441

You deserved it 10 118

By SayItToMyFace - 11/11/2015 17:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to text him when I got home after driving 40 miles in bad weather from his house back to mine. When I did, he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 030

You deserved it 1 538

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 22:21 - United States - Berkeley

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 573

You deserved it 3 107

By rachaaaaeul - 06/08/2010 07:07 - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 070

You deserved it 4 021

By Anonymous - 24/01/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 448

You deserved it 2 779

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 13:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 967

You deserved it 140 320

Kill_Kayt 5

Friday 14 September 2012 9:18

I think you deserve it for actualy thinking he was completely serious.

SeahorseGuy 7

Friday 14 September 2012 9:18

Be glad, at least he cares if you made it home safe.

Comments

TheLadyOpal 30

Friday 14 September 2012 16:59

It's sweet that he's asking you to let him know you made it home safely, but I dunno...maybe you'd be better off with someone who would actually bother looking for you should something happen. Just a thought.

AussieChild 22

Friday 14 September 2012 17:04

Who's to say he wouldn't look? It seems fairly obvious to me and the majority of people on here that he was joking

TheLadyOpal 30

Saturday 15 September 2012 0:55

Maybe I'm judgmental, but joking about getting a new girlfriend if you went missing just doesn't seem very funny to me, that's all.

AussieChild 22

Saturday 15 September 2012 3:03

Really?? I guess it depends on how uptight you are. My fiancé and I joke about things all the time. He'll ask what I'm doing tonight, I'll say "Got my other boyfriend coming over, just the usual." Stuff like that. Perhaps some people can't tell the difference between a joke and reality.

mommykrissy_05 7

Friday 14 September 2012 17:59

What a jerk. Obviously he wants to break up with you but is to small a man to do it. I wouldnt text him now i would wait a few days and text him... Hey babe I am home safe.