Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our... - FML

By Anonymous - 29/06/2011 23:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 984

You deserved it 7 376

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Trapped

By Anonymous - 12/03/2022 05:00 - United States - Mineola

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. Instead of being happy, he freaked out, then told me I was trying to "trap" him. We've been together for 12 years, and trying for 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 188

By Anonymous - 28/08/2012 23:08 - United States - Merrillville

Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 889

You deserved it 5 871

By Anonymous - 31/05/2013 03:28 - United States - Carencro

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 318

You deserved it 7 422

By Username - 15/09/2010 18:02 - France

Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 052

You deserved it 4 829

By =( - 05/04/2014 17:48 - United States - Houston

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 747

You deserved it 14 430

By Anonymous - 05/04/2019 18:00

Today, I realised how little my husband trusts me after I told him I was pregnant and the first words out of his mouth were, “Is it mine?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 515

You deserved it 430

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By Willow McGarrigle - 30/05/2020 02:00

Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 146

By Jessie - 22/08/2019 12:01 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 887

You deserved it 332

By bummed - 04/11/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 195

You deserved it 16 638

By Toooldforthisshit - 09/12/2018 11:30 - United States - New London

Today, I found out the girl my boyfriend was seeing just before me is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 077

You deserved it 261

Next

Top comments

konnermoses 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 8:28

he's not too smart :-/

aliadnan708 6

Thursday 30 June 2011 8:28

wow ur bf is truly an idiot!

Comments

NellieSem 0

Friday 1 July 2011 7:36

wow idiot.

NellieSem 0

Friday 1 July 2011 7:36

wow idiot.

ksowders 0

Friday 1 July 2011 7:48

oh wow! what an idiot

MagicMarker 0

Friday 1 July 2011 7:57

...The hell? Is he literally mentally challenged, or something? Or was he trying to make a joke? Either way, you certainly shacked up with a loser, and I feel sorry for your kid.

Brieani 0

Friday 1 July 2011 8:42

Aha !!! =DD

Katiekat12bby 0

Friday 1 July 2011 8:57

haha, and your having a baby with this guy? send him back to school.

BeeMaddness 0

Friday 1 July 2011 8:59

Your boyfriend may not have any brains at all.

coffeegirl16 0

Friday 1 July 2011 10:21

I hope for your sake the baby doesn't spend all to much time taking up the same interests as the dad, which caused him to be completely mental. Good Luck

barbiiee_fml 0

Friday 1 July 2011 10:42

******* DUMBASS, SORRY FOR YOU & YOUR KID.

kortknee 0

Friday 1 July 2011 13:56

ahha :P dumbass

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If the title got you here because you thought FML was going to shut up shop, then I'm evil. Of course, today's headline only refers to the great comic Pen Goto created for us! Speaking of today's illustration, no animals were hurt in the making of th...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, after years of high blood pressure and 3 meds for it, a doctor informed me my blood pressure is going too low, and I'm passing out. I've been told to stop the meds. This followed an increase in my meds because it's killing my kidneys. So my choices are kidney failure, or passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 580

You deserved it 194

The Top

Today, my family drove me to the airport. Before they said goodbye, my mom discreetly pulled me to one side and asked if I'd remembered to pack my birth control pills. Unfortunately, my little sister heard, then chased me through the security line, yelling, "YOU'RE ON BIRTH CONTROL?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 275

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 948

You deserved it 27 349

Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 712

You deserved it 38 135

Today, one of my best friends, someone I considered family, and whose kid I see as my nephew, picked a piece of shit dude she’s been seeing for 3 months over me. And no, I didn’t make her choose. He decided to be an ass to me and when I wasn’t OK with it, she just let him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 185

Today, I was starting a new job and I didn't want to be late, so I took a train that left earlier than normal, just to make sure I'd be on time. Turns out, the earlier train wasn't an express train, and made it to my stop 12 minutes after my usual one did. I was late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 465

You deserved it 4 508

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 664

You deserved it 3 836