Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time....

By Kayt - 03/10/2011 04:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 495

You deserved it 4 656

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Same thing different taste

By you+me-clothes=53>< - 19/11/2013 17:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 094

You deserved it 9 053

By someone - 17/09/2013 16:38 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 601

You deserved it 6 921

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 133

You deserved it 4 527

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 192

You deserved it 8 222

ADHD brain

By Unknown - 18/10/2011 04:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 939

You deserved it 6 403

By anonymous - 02/11/2015 03:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 314

You deserved it 7 527

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 368

You deserved it 34 715

By Anonymous - 13/12/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 634

You deserved it 6 407

Follow the script

By ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 399

You deserved it 14 504

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 045

You deserved it 18 790

The_Instigator 11

Monday 3 October 2011 12:04

That damned Rubiks Cube, I've still never solved one.

yamatelle 19

Monday 3 October 2011 12:13

OP, Rubik's Cubes are like penises. The more you play with them the harder they get.

Comments

KeXu 6

Monday 3 October 2011 12:14

It's all about finger tricks

Dodie__fml 2

Monday 3 October 2011 12:15

The man has priorities

Buttsexpirate 9

Monday 3 October 2011 12:15

Some men read books, chop wood, go fishing, etc. when they're trying to think but your boyfriend gets his from eating out. I'd say that's a gift! Give him a difficult math problem next time that's near impossible.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 3 October 2011 16:17

She can write "I ****** the answer to 'fermats last theorem'" right over her pubes. Tell him he has to do it 10 times in a row first.

ColCyclone 17

Monday 3 October 2011 12:18

All he has to do is YouTube it.. I don't think you can YouTube how to get girls to ******. Maybe google..

godbear 5

Tuesday 4 October 2011 13:25

its called ask jeeves, he knows all, him or chuck norris

NoNotTheFace 8

Monday 3 October 2011 12:19

Rubik's cubes are amazing. There was once I was donating blood and I realized that I finally knew of an algorithm to solve the cube. I ran back home to fix it. Only then did I realize I had left a trail of blood behind me and some gay vampire was following me.. forgot his name though. Ed something..

fthislyfe 22

Monday 3 October 2011 14:25

Ed something is a veggie, It was probably someone else

fthislyfe 22

Monday 3 October 2011 14:26

BTW did he sparkle?

Pinkfoxxx 2

Monday 3 October 2011 22:03

I love you.

yamatelle 19

Monday 3 October 2011 22:24

He's mine, bitch! Get your own man. :D

yamatelle 19

Tuesday 4 October 2011 6:29

Pinkfoxxx I was just joking. I hope you didn't take that too seriously. :)

hannahcorrine 0

Monday 3 October 2011 12:22

It's so hard to solve one! Haha

Arivien 3

Monday 3 October 2011 12:24

Rubik's cubes are the worst...let us know if the algorithm worked!

Cinn_fml 22

Monday 3 October 2011 12:29

Rubik's cubes are difficult, and if that's when he has a brainwave, that's when he has a brainwave. :P However, I can imagine it's frustrating, just hope it's a one time thing and forget about it. Or, you know, wait for him to have finished with his algorithm and then get back to business.