Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with... - FML

By Gabi - 20/02/2012 14:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 255

You deserved it 6 552

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Same thing different taste

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 387

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Spicy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 334

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 377

You deserved it 3 123

Slacker

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 08:00 - United States - Babylon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 07:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 076

You deserved it 3 857

By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill

Spicy

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 594

You deserved it 2 376

Run for the hills

By SickofhisBs - 06/07/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, and every time I don’t feel like having sex with my boyfriend, he audibly jerks off, and passively aggressively moans to try and guilt trip me into doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 645

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 054

You deserved it 904

Gimme the D

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 11:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Spicy

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 254

By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Spicy

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 120

You deserved it 3 792

Next

Top comments

bryanbntz 0

Monday 20 February 2012 19:01

Soooo, why are you with him?

Emd0406 4

Monday 20 February 2012 19:07

Break his hand.

Comments

eddyg94 11

Tuesday 21 February 2012 21:08

.

annafii 7

Tuesday 21 February 2012 21:08

...If you were awake and he knew you wanted to have sex, that does kind of suck. If he thought you were asleep it makes slightly more sense. If that happened to me in any way I would have just watched and joined in :P

Ryan11adidas 4

Wednesday 22 February 2012 3:59

Is he gay?

hikurashi83 15

Wednesday 22 February 2012 5:58

you do not simply force ze sex on someone...

zizoooooooo 4

Wednesday 22 February 2012 8:28

maybe he's gay!!!

rubyliu8420 7

Wednesday 22 February 2012 19:48

That's just wrong.

roninvamp 4

Wednesday 22 February 2012 22:52

My guess is, some form or another, you're lousy in bed so odds are its your own fault

Pinky1407 4

Wednesday 22 February 2012 23:01

What the **** is wrong with him? Or are you horrible in bed?

lostlove92 4

Thursday 23 February 2012 2:49

what did you do to him....?

Heinousness 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 0:20

Time to get a new boyfriend

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The Top

Today, my 6 year-old son has been using his tablet before bed, and he has been staying up until 12am when his bedtime is 8pm. I think his tablet is why, since he plays games and watches YouTube before bed. He also has the tablet in bed while he’s sleeping. Why does he need to use his tablet overnight? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 1 021

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122 467

You deserved it 13 416

The Top

Today, I came in to work and found the conference room whiteboards completely clean. My assistant had wiped all the white boards where I'd spent 10 hours writing the schedule for the next three months. I was going to meet with all the supervisors to finalize that schedule today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 704

You deserved it 7 094

Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 190

You deserved it 1 379

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 736

You deserved it 17 460

Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 543

You deserved it 46 761

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 636

You deserved it 4 070

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 416

You deserved it 3 899