Miscellaneous: Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so...

By GaveAnInchTakeAMile - 11/05/2013 09:52 - United States

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 584

You deserved it 5 854

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

Stranded

By leftoutdrunk - 05/05/2012 18:12 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 758

You deserved it 4 067

Gross, dudes!

By notsick - 17/03/2019 22:00

Today, my roommate invited her brother over to drink. Neither can handle their drink and her brother is a sympathy spewer. He’s not my guest but I had to clean up vomit until 4 in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 134

You deserved it 214

Brotherly love

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 22:00

Today, my brother was going to get some drinks for a party we were going to. After getting the drinks, he ended up leaving me at home while he went and got drunk like never before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 101

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 427

You deserved it 6 089

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 697

You deserved it 7 135

By always-the-responsible-one - 03/01/2010 08:42 - Canada

Today, I just spent half an hour cleaning up my little brother's puke after he got drunk for the first time. All the people who bought him drinks are still out partying and having a good time, while all I can smell is whiskey, Chinese food, and whatever else was in his stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 625

You deserved it 3 111

Pissed

By holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 075

You deserved it 33 446

Oh what a night

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 09/06/2013 23:33 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 465

You deserved it 9 137

By Anonymous - 04/07/2009 20:21 - United States

Today, after spending two days cleaning my car inside and out, I had to pick up my brother when his truck died in the mountains, on a dirt road. He was drunk. I now have a car covered in mud and filled with vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 442

You deserved it 3 144

Great seeing you again

By Kristin - 03/01/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom, where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 592

You deserved it 3 911

Ultimate_No 7

Saturday 11 May 2013 16:27

However, you're a hero and may have saved his and other people's lives.

jonnied23 20

Saturday 11 May 2013 16:30

Cleaning up puke is much easier than cleaning up an automobile accident

Comments

lndala 15

Saturday 11 May 2013 16:40

I love OP's name. I think I can even hear the frustration.

perdix 29

Saturday 11 May 2013 16:41

Why didn't you call him a cab? Hey, you're a cab!

Pstraka6 20

Saturday 11 May 2013 16:44

Hey, way to be a good guy making sure he didn't drive! But make sure he cleans up the mess he made

DocBastard 38

Saturday 11 May 2013 16:47

Damn you! It's responsible people like you who deprive me of blog posts!

KLeePrice 11

Saturday 11 May 2013 17:05

No worries Doc, there are enough irresponsible people in the world to keep your blog going for life! Which I enjoy by the way! Thank you for sharing your stories with us.

Glitter_taco_ 10

Saturday 11 May 2013 19:11

Don't worry, you'll find some one irresponsible soon. The world is full of irresponsible people!

LestonA 3

Saturday 11 May 2013 16:53

Maybe if you would of taken him to HIS house that wouldn't happen.

KLeePrice 11

Saturday 11 May 2013 17:09

Would've, could've, should've. The 've is short for ha(ve), not of!

RainbowDashie140 12

Sunday 12 May 2013 2:23

While you are correct, most people choose to pronounce it that way.

Ms_ValS 27

Sunday 12 May 2013 3:45

It's not a choice they make, it's their ignorance & stupidity.

CharresBarkrey 15

Sunday 12 May 2013 6:51

50 - Typing or writing "would of" is not the same as pronouncing it as "would've." They're two separate sayings, and "would of" means absolutely nothing in English - it's incorrect.

jmcr 27

Saturday 11 May 2013 16:54

That was really cool of you to convince him not to drive not so cool to try to climb in bed with you but at least he isnt climbing out of a major car wreck you most likely saved his and someone else's life

maebelline12 12

Saturday 11 May 2013 21:14

If he was in a major car wreck I doubt he would be in any condition to climb out of his car. Good save OP!

Dave_Davington 33

Saturday 11 May 2013 17:00

Well, he's nothing if not an opportunist.

rt567 15

Saturday 11 May 2013 17:11

this really pisses me off, if you're drunk, have someone call a damn cab or have a friend drive you, never get behind the wheel when drunk please. it can kill you, or others, or both. I was at the rehabilitation I stitute of Chicago, there were two 14 yr old girls, both with traumatic brain injuries, one of them could move or comprehend thing at all, at 14 her life is now changed forever. and two other 17 yr old boys. please think before behind the wheel.

Mr_Satan 11

Sunday 12 May 2013 1:58

Better off taking a cab to, or getting dropped off at wherever you're drinking. Nobody makes good decisions when they're drunk, so take away the risk beforehand rather than hoping you stay smart enough to not do something so stupid.