Conspiracy theorist and Miscellaneous: Today, my brother started ranting about how fluoridated water...

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By Anonymous - 15/06/2016 17:07 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, my brother started ranting about how fluoridated water is a conspiracy to "turn people gay". I said the government must be doing a shit job of it, since he's been drinking the stuff longer than I've been alive and is still married to a woman. He punched me so hard, my vision blacked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 719

You deserved it 2 131

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Same thing different taste

Dirty mind

By how are we related?! - 14/08/2022 00:00

Today, I realized just how fragile and idiotic my brother is. At a family get together, I bought a giant box of popsicles for all the kids to enjoy. He refused to let his sons have one, because according to him, “it looks gay”. I swear my mother found him by the road or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 111

The punch from beyond the grave

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 14:00

Today, my brother‘s will read that everything would go to our other brother, so long as he punched me for having an affair with my his wife. So now I have a black eye. I’m gay, but I've never told my family. I didn't have an affair with his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 192

C'mon man!

By Pooping - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Aldergrove

Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 282

You deserved it 2 003

By anonymous - 08/12/2014 23:23 - United States - New Baltimore

Today, I found out I have sodium fluoride poisoning. Apparently, my water has a high level of sodium fluorine. I've been drinking much more water lately trying to be healthier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 046

You deserved it 2 764

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 06:28 - United States - Calhan

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 576

You deserved it 3 453

By Normal - 13/12/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 006

You deserved it 3 875

Compassion, brah

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 11:01

Today, I finally told my brother that I was being sexually harassed at work. I'm 22 and my brother is 41, and he literally told me that I don't even know what sexual harassment is, and then laughed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 145

By Monster-in-law - 09/08/2017 16:30 - United States - Sherwood

Today, I got a call from my brother-in-law's doctor. Apparently he's made threats and fantasizes about killing me. "Notifying you is the protocol for things like this" he said, and ended the conversation with, "have a nice day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 992

You deserved it 273

By Anonymous - 15/07/2019 14:00

Today, as revenge for a prank I played on him last week, my brother took things way too far and loaded my milkshake with so many chocolate laxatives, I’m now in hospital. I’ve had so much diarrhoea in the past few hours, I’m dangerously dehydrated and had to be put on a saline drip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 346

By Anonymous - 06/09/2015 06:59 - United States - Wittenberg

Today, my older brother offered me a cigarette. I took it and barely took a drag before he socked me in the arm and lectured me for taking the offer. He's an alcoholic, and smokes daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 175

You deserved it 9 612

Tripartita 44

Thursday 16 June 2016 0:48

"WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?! Did you look through my internet history? Bro… you alright?"

Welshite 39

Thursday 16 June 2016 0:45

You might want to imitate him and wear a tinfoil hat for good measure. You never know when the government can be listening in. They're coming for you, OP.

Comments

Sparx1_1 16

Thursday 16 June 2016 8:42

If he's spending this much energy thinking about it then maybe he has something to hide.

Soluxis 17

Thursday 16 June 2016 9:07

Aha, the UK. Full of scientifically illiterate morons.

sargeantsnark 3

Thursday 16 June 2016 12:13

If my brother punched me in the face, he'd be sitting in jail for assault.

burgermike92 17

Thursday 16 June 2016 12:14

Damn dude. Well I bet u won't do that again.

DanielleinDC 33

Thursday 16 June 2016 14:35

Your brother has issues. What government-contaminated product has he been consuming to turn him violent? Newsflash to your idiot brother: People can't be turned gay anymore than they can be turned straight. I don't know how homophobic the government in the UK is, but I would think that the government in the US, at least, would want to find chemicals to turn people straight, given one party's utter disdain for GLBT people. Maybe for Christmas you can get him a tinfoil hat.