Health: Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the... - FML

By devinchi - 11/11/2011 08:42 - United States

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 293

You deserved it 8 197

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Same thing different taste

Sometimes negativity is good

By Not again!!! - 11/11/2024 03:00 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, my friend told me, "Just think positive!" to lift my mood. I unconvincingly replied, "Sure thing." An hour later, something positive did happen. When I took a Covid test. Maybe positivity just isn’t my thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 92

By Anonymous - 22/09/2012 06:24 - United States

Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 762

You deserved it 62 616

Health tip

By Anonymous - 12/10/2023 16:02 - United States - Laramie

Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 123

Sorry, friend

By How could the fuck I know? - 12/04/2021 17:00

Today, I was given my Covid-19 test results after a friend and I went to take one. I had been sneezing and having fevers lately, and out of solidarity, my friend also took the test to give me the courage to do so. I tested negative, but my friend didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 167

Good luck

By Anonymous - 17/01/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally came out to my parents and admitted that I’m HIV positive. Instead of being supportive, they made me call up all of my childhood friends and tell them to get tested. Playing at the park isn’t how it transmits, Mum and Dad… FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 169

Keep some things to yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Plymouth

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 566

You deserved it 75 788

By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 17:52 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 288

You deserved it 3 319

By themarrowguy - 23/08/2013 10:06 - United States

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 173

You deserved it 4 358

One weird technique

By NotYourTracy - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, while on the bus, I started a conversation with the person next to me. After a little back and forth, she finally said, "Do you think people will stop talking to me if I say I have AIDS?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 694

You deserved it 908

Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division

By Anonymous - 06/11/2020 22:56 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I jokingly said to my coworker, "God, what I wouldn't do for a week off work." I was then tested positive for COVID fifteen minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 478

Next

Top comments

RavagedSoul 0

Friday 11 November 2011 16:03

Think positive = You got it Think negative = Don't get your hopes up Ye either way nothing should have been said. Silence is golden.

DocBastard 38

Friday 11 November 2011 16:48

I have a feeling that you're the same person who says "You too!" to the check-in person at the airport when she tells you to "Have a nice flight".

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 11 November 2011 21:42

(Stewie voice) Oohh, sorry...

DreBeezy 9

Friday 11 November 2011 22:26

Smooth.........

sexypimpdaddy 0

Friday 11 November 2011 23:21

....Thoughts. :D

SorrowFull 8

Friday 11 November 2011 23:51

It happens, I am sure you didn't mean, "hope you have HIV."

kelovath 8

Saturday 12 November 2011 0:40

Haha, that has 69 likes.... I can't ruin dat! xD

LuciDaniels 8

Saturday 12 November 2011 1:36

I'm sorry but thats a bit funny X]

kp4294 2

Saturday 12 November 2011 1:41

I mean if he thinks he has HIV then he kinda should expect things of that nature to be said on purpose anyways. Lol! Shouldn't be messing around enough to have it. Haha

mfbeezy11 0

Saturday 12 November 2011 2:39

Lol that's funny!

zuzupetalsYO 11

Saturday 12 November 2011 2:47

This is your buddys FML!

Ranimal 12

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:47

And this is a possible "**** your life" incident? I think not.

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The Top

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 524

You deserved it 1 300

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 275

You deserved it 3 577

The Top

Today, I started a job on a building site. Halfway through, I needed to use the toilet. One of the builders said there were two of them; one was "OK" and the other was "nasty." The first one I walked into had the foulest stench imaginable. Apparently, that was the "OK" one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 886

You deserved it 1 857

Today, I was told to be present for a meeting that started at 5pm. I arrived 15 minutes early, and I was late for the meeting. This happens regularly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 097

You deserved it 283

Today, I told my mom that I got into National Honor Society and Beta Club. Most parents are proud but not her. She told me to get a job and that she was tired of my school shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 408

You deserved it 2 883

Today, I laughed at a joke and it literally took me a minute to realize that it was me they were making fun of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 491

You deserved it 21 673

Today, my neighbor that's going through a midlife crisis showed off his brand new Corvette. He did donuts on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 703

You deserved it 322

Today, I went to the doctor, who confirmed I have a minor infection 'down there'. It’s not sexually transmitted, but since there were no obvious symptoms, he asked how I knew something was wrong, I just couldn’t tell him my husband was going down on me and noticed it tasted different from normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 255