Miscellaneous: Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself....

By emily - 30/07/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 074

You deserved it 4 310

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Same thing different taste

By fffemaleee - 31/05/2015 18:21 - United States - Waterford

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 270

You deserved it 3 964

Invasion of the bodysnatchers

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 03:04 - United States

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 425

You deserved it 6 109

By xxteenhearts - 29/05/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I seemingly misplaced my cell phone but didn't have time to look for it before work. This evening, my cell phone company calls me to tell me I have six hundred dollars worth of calls to El Salvador that I have to pay for. My cell phone was not misplaced, it was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 111

You deserved it 4 171

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 320

Great timing

By alo1434 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 976

You deserved it 3 368

Trickster

By Oxnar60 - 08/08/2016 18:19 - United States - Harwich

Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 190

You deserved it 1 995

By foretwintie - 06/06/2009 11:18 - Canada

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 208

You deserved it 8 281

By yermom - 13/12/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need." After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 738

You deserved it 3 101

By unluckysamaritan - 15/10/2016 08:51 - Sweden

Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 492

You deserved it 982

By calli - 25/12/2009 21:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I was working at the Soup Kitchen handing out special christmas dinners to the homeless. At the end of the day I collected my things and went home. It was only then I discovered that my wallet, phone, pager and (for some reason) my glasses has been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 460

You deserved it 4 609

naem 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 16:14

Did you cut anyone open today? It's probably in there

Sevenfold 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 16:29

wtf? How do you think someone stole it? You LOST it, idiot.

Comments

Hjade 4

Wednesday 20 April 2011 19:50

damn zombies

I_Ate_The_Cookie 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 4:00

Hmm..Grow a ******* brain!Stop wasting peoples time,because if you really and truly dont think they STOLE it,then you lost it. Dumbass.-_-

loopsy_fml 14

Saturday 26 November 2011 6:04

You didn't lose it. It was in your pocket the whole time

oscar6464 8

Monday 1 October 2012 0:45

2 words, zombie apocalypse

paintedchocolate 30

Tuesday 19 February 2013 20:18

You never know...

lowshadows 21

Sunday 22 September 2013 20:32

i see dead people

poor_gurll1198 17

Monday 14 October 2013 23:57

Did you try calling it, or was it DEAD?

Federgirl 19

Monday 16 December 2013 6:59

or was it??? lol jk.

polarbearpiss 15

Sunday 10 August 2014 22:38

you lost it?

Nyame 19

Sunday 21 December 2014 20:25

You can never be sure...

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The Top

Today, I got home after a long day and decided to unwind a bit. I put some porn on the TV but promptly fell asleep. I woke up three hours later to the same video playing, but realized a had left my blinds open. I broadcasted three hours of Athena Faris having sex to my whole street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 453

Today, I went to a different barber because my usual one was on vacation. I told him I wanted a slight trim, nothing drastic. Apparently, "slight trim" means shaving half of my head and giving me bangs that would make a medieval monk jealous. Now, I look like a confusing fashion experiment from the '80s. The 1880s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 511

Today, as I was driving to work in the aftermath of a terrible blizzard that came through my area last night, a lady slid through an intersection and hit my car, totaling it. I called my boss and told her what happened, only to have her tell me that we were closed due bad roads. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 143

You deserved it 4 882

Today, my apartment neighbors just had a baby, meaning the only place I can have my morning Teams meetings when I'm not at the office is at my parents' house. Mid-meeting, as I was giving my report, my dad came up the hall, loudly dropping strings of curses. Even though I tried to mute my mic, my boss heard enough; hello, reprimand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 122

Today, my boyfriend told me that he is homophobic. This wouldn't be such a big deal, if my mother wasn't a lesbian. He doesn't know this yet, and I'm afraid to tell him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 468

You deserved it 7 028

Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 113

You deserved it 28 780

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 141

You deserved it 21 943