Miscellaneous: Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself.... - FML

By emily - 30/07/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 075

You deserved it 4 310

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Same thing different taste

By fffemaleee - 31/05/2015 18:21 - United States - Waterford

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 272

You deserved it 3 965

Invasion of the bodysnatchers

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 03:04 - United States

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 427

You deserved it 6 110

By xxteenhearts - 29/05/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I seemingly misplaced my cell phone but didn't have time to look for it before work. This evening, my cell phone company calls me to tell me I have six hundred dollars worth of calls to El Salvador that I have to pay for. My cell phone was not misplaced, it was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 4 173

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 333

Great timing

By alo1434 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 008

You deserved it 3 371

Trickster

By Oxnar60 - 08/08/2016 18:19 - United States - Harwich

Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 192

You deserved it 1 995

By foretwintie - 06/06/2009 11:18 - Canada

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 214

You deserved it 8 283

By yermom - 13/12/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need." After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 740

You deserved it 3 101

By unluckysamaritan - 15/10/2016 08:51 - Sweden

Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 496

You deserved it 984

By calli - 25/12/2009 21:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I was working at the Soup Kitchen handing out special christmas dinners to the homeless. At the end of the day I collected my things and went home. It was only then I discovered that my wallet, phone, pager and (for some reason) my glasses has been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 464

You deserved it 4 611

Next

Top comments

naem 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 16:14

Did you cut anyone open today? It's probably in there

Sevenfold 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 16:29

wtf? How do you think someone stole it? You LOST it, idiot.

Comments

tipsy337 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 22:17

Shhh... I see white people...

NoahLou 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 22:19

Try calling your phone. Maybe one of the bodies will ring. LOL

kbs123456789 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:28

Worst FML ever.

memyselfand 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:42

Ing thier zombies RUN AWAY

blueslushy 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:07

You are so lucky you work in a morgue! Peace and quiet...no annoying co-workers.... sorry bout your phone though!

iH8myLiF3 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:29

This is dumb.

dumbbbb 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:40

this is stupid and not fml worthy. waste of a post..

XRiseToFallAgain 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:00

Jesus Christ, morons. IT'S AN FML BECAUSE SHE WORKS IN A MORGUE. What's that mean? It's probably inside of a body.

thesismate 3

Friday 31 July 2009 1:08

That is so creepy!

ChelsiGotSpunk 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:20

Maybe I'm being dumb, but I think she means it's somewhere gross, obviously. Or maybe she's believing in paranormals and thinks a ghost stole it. Some people.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mother and wife are arguing over raising our baby Catholic or Church of England. They’re mad at each other and as a bonus they’re both mad at me because I’m non-religious and genuinely don’t care which made-up religion they try to raise her in, I’m just enjoying being a dad over here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 164

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 90

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 84

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 066

You deserved it 3 288

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I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 79

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 925

You deserved it 5 566

Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 881

You deserved it 10 324

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 2 852