Miscellaneous: Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself.... - FML

By emily - 30/07/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 074

You deserved it 4 310

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Same thing different taste

By fffemaleee - 31/05/2015 18:21 - United States - Waterford

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 270

You deserved it 3 964

Invasion of the bodysnatchers

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 03:04 - United States

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 425

You deserved it 6 109

By xxteenhearts - 29/05/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I seemingly misplaced my cell phone but didn't have time to look for it before work. This evening, my cell phone company calls me to tell me I have six hundred dollars worth of calls to El Salvador that I have to pay for. My cell phone was not misplaced, it was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 111

You deserved it 4 171

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 320

Great timing

By alo1434 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 976

You deserved it 3 368

Trickster

By Oxnar60 - 08/08/2016 18:19 - United States - Harwich

Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 190

You deserved it 1 995

By foretwintie - 06/06/2009 11:18 - Canada

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 208

You deserved it 8 281

By yermom - 13/12/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need." After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 738

You deserved it 3 101

By unluckysamaritan - 15/10/2016 08:51 - Sweden

Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 492

You deserved it 982

By calli - 25/12/2009 21:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I was working at the Soup Kitchen handing out special christmas dinners to the homeless. At the end of the day I collected my things and went home. It was only then I discovered that my wallet, phone, pager and (for some reason) my glasses has been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 460

You deserved it 4 609

Next

Top comments

naem 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 16:14

Did you cut anyone open today? It's probably in there

Sevenfold 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 16:29

wtf? How do you think someone stole it? You LOST it, idiot.

Comments

tipsy337 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 22:17

Shhh... I see white people...

NoahLou 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 22:19

Try calling your phone. Maybe one of the bodies will ring. LOL

kbs123456789 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:28

Worst FML ever.

memyselfand 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:42

Ing thier zombies RUN AWAY

blueslushy 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:07

You are so lucky you work in a morgue! Peace and quiet...no annoying co-workers.... sorry bout your phone though!

iH8myLiF3 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:29

This is dumb.

dumbbbb 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:40

this is stupid and not fml worthy. waste of a post..

XRiseToFallAgain 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:00

Jesus Christ, morons. IT'S AN FML BECAUSE SHE WORKS IN A MORGUE. What's that mean? It's probably inside of a body.

thesismate 3

Friday 31 July 2009 1:08

That is so creepy!

ChelsiGotSpunk 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:20

Maybe I'm being dumb, but I think she means it's somewhere gross, obviously. Or maybe she's believing in paranormals and thinks a ghost stole it. Some people.

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The Top

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 127

You deserved it 7 332

Today, I realised I may have a drinking problem when the recycling bin was due to go out and I physically couldn’t move the bin. I thought my kids might have put a rock in there but no, it was weighed down by the sheer weight of two weeks worth of wine bottles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 776

The Top

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 046

You deserved it 8 311

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 120

You deserved it 2 087

Today, my brother threw a mug at my head and threatened to stab anybody who came at him because I woke him up for school. I called the police after threats were thrown at my mom, who then lied to them and said I overreacted. I'm currently getting the silent treatment from my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 302

You deserved it 429

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 868

You deserved it 6 655

Today, tired and hungover, I missed my bus, tried to walk to the train station, got lost, got soaked in the rain, got huge blisters, and had to be picked up because I was late for work. I got in, drenched, tired, and cold only to be told there was "nothing to be done." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 009

You deserved it 10 511

Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 208

You deserved it 34 122