Kids: Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the...

By SomeDJ - 12/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 107

You deserved it 46 894

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By christinabear - 15/04/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 893

You deserved it 88 875

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 912

You deserved it 7 111

A modern classic

By Anonymous - 14/12/2023 00:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend has been continuously played Skibidi Toilet on repeat and singing the song. She's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 129

By anonymous - 07/05/2014 23:06 - United States

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 022

You deserved it 5 716

Make it stop!

By MsGlaDos - 12/06/2013 21:45 - United States - Austin

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 631

You deserved it 12 281

By Braelynn - 26/01/2011 07:48

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 204

You deserved it 3 790

Earbleach

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 16:13 - United States

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 431

You deserved it 5 580

By Anonymous - 14/09/2013 21:51 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 872

You deserved it 3 753

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 13:32 - Singapore

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 134

You deserved it 7 160

Ayy Macarena

By fired - 27/06/2012 20:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 3 067

FlaminYawn 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 12:47

My dick cost a late night fee, your dick got the HIV

cherlana32 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 12:33

I love that song!

Comments

indiana_gal 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 21:57

i read that almost peed myself that was a good one! :[)

jesuisamy 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 22:33

Shawn, is that you..? :')

mit123 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 22:36

my dick locked in a cage right yo dick suffer from stage fright

notlovingit 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 23:29

i ended up listening to this song and this is one hillarious song FML cause that thing sticks in your head

MoobyTheCow 2

Wednesday 12 August 2009 23:38

YDI for listening to shitty music.

jacklinjanna 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 4:38

my dick... grade a beef. yo dick.. made a geek. lol wow fail on your part.

shana28 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 4:49

I feel your pain. That is my ring tone for my best friend, he called when I was standing back stage at a dance recital. It was totally silent and I was standing with my dance teacher of 20 and about ten twelve year old girls and could not get to my phone. They heard most of the song.