Kids: Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the...

By SomeDJ - 12/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 107

You deserved it 46 894

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Same thing different taste

By christinabear - 15/04/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 893

You deserved it 88 875

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 912

You deserved it 7 111

A modern classic

By Anonymous - 14/12/2023 00:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend has been continuously played Skibidi Toilet on repeat and singing the song. She's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 129

By anonymous - 07/05/2014 23:06 - United States

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 022

You deserved it 5 716

Make it stop!

By MsGlaDos - 12/06/2013 21:45 - United States - Austin

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 631

You deserved it 12 281

By Braelynn - 26/01/2011 07:48

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 204

You deserved it 3 790

Earbleach

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 16:13 - United States

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 431

You deserved it 5 580

By Anonymous - 14/09/2013 21:51 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 872

You deserved it 3 753

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 13:32 - Singapore

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 134

You deserved it 7 160

Ayy Macarena

By fired - 27/06/2012 20:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 3 067

FlaminYawn 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 12:47

My dick cost a late night fee, your dick got the HIV

cherlana32 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 12:33

I love that song!

Comments

loveadicts 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 9:35

fyl but good job on the song, mickey avalon is the best and i dont even listen to that kind of music, normally!

TheThrasher_fml 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 12:27

me and my 6 year old nephew listen to venom all the time i teach him to swear and hail satan cuz its good for the ******

catchthisdrift 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 20:26

you rock for playing mickey avalon period. teach her to jane fonda next.

crimson_smurf 0

Friday 14 August 2009 0:50

yeah you so deserve it for listening to that crap

skgirl 0

Friday 14 August 2009 3:38

haha wow thats FML yet so funny haha......my boy friend sings that:p

gabman 0

Saturday 15 August 2009 15:22

ahahaha that song makes me LOL

oopsie_daisy8446 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 5:03

i know that song!!!!! eek, tell them if they sing it they'll go to JAIL. works everytime.

omgwtflolz 0

Monday 17 August 2009 6:07

ydi for leaving ur ipod on shuffle

mikel81 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 2:11

You deserve it for having gay shit on your ipod. And for leaving a 4yr old unattended. lol

blondebutterfly8 5

Sunday 23 August 2009 5:45

Serves you right for listening to that kind of music.

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The Top

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 084

You deserved it 2 489

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

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You deserved it 514

The Top

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 358

You deserved it 19 429

Today, I left my daughter with a babysitter for the first time. When I came home, my microwave was ruined because they had attempted to heat cans of Play-Doh as a science experiment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 275

You deserved it 1 956

Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 086

You deserved it 2 979

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 400

You deserved it 3 179

Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 332

You deserved it 15 684

Today, my stepbrother, with whom I’ve had a normal relationship with since we were 5, announced that he’s in love with me. I rejected him, but now my stepmom who’s Catholic is blaming me for "seduction and immorality" blah blah, while my dad now thinks my brother is a pervert who needs to live somewhere else. FML

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You deserved it 98