Kids: Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about...

By anonymous - 03/08/2009 07:37 - Taiwan

Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about weird dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream you were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 464

You deserved it 5 044

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Chess boxing

By W…… - 06/04/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, my cousin wanted to play chess with me. I've never been good at chess, but I had no idea until now that my cousin is somehow even worse than I am. I also forgot that he's a sore loser and a half until after I finished thoroughly trouncing him. Now I have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 110

They hated her because she spoke the truth

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 06:01

Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 114

All I have to is dream dream dream

By Anonymous - 28/10/2020 18:02 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt I wet my pants in front of everyone. It wasn’t a dream. A toddler laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 245

Thanks kids

By BadMurderer - 31/07/2009 04:01 - Mexico

Today, my little 7 and 6 year-old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied, "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 075

You deserved it 3 871

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 22:00

Today, I visited with my cousin on her deathbed. When I asked what she was doing, they replied that she was sleeping. Next thing out my mouth without thinking was, "She can sleep when she's dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 2 427

By goinginsane - 06/05/2011 07:25

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 785

You deserved it 7 166

By bm - 11/02/2009 19:57 - United States

Today, my mom and I were looking at pictures from the beach. She goes, "That is a REALLY ugly picture of Michelle" (my cousin). The picture was of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 142

You deserved it 2 650

By fatty - 09/06/2009 08:39 - Germany

Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 710

You deserved it 49 908

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 18:22 - United States

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 629

You deserved it 5 383

By ambiiii - 20/08/2015 03:25 - United States - Marble Falls

Today, my niece started crying because she thought that someday she'll look like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 573

You deserved it 2 045

aback 4

Monday 3 August 2009 16:29

So tell your cousin you dreamed s/he was eaten by spiders. And his/her parents were glad.

genius_man16 0

Monday 3 August 2009 16:02

Um, so the **** what? It's a dream. Stop getting your ******* panties in a bunch.

Comments

Leaveittosteven 0

Monday 3 August 2009 22:33

One time I had a dream that this was some inconsequential shit. I still haven't woken up.

chowyuk 0

Monday 3 August 2009 22:37

fyl not because you are a shitty person not because your cusins dream. 1. for even thinking the world revolves around you and you should win in your cusins dreams. 2. for thinking if you lose a beauty contest that means you won an ugly contest.

bbobe900000 0

Monday 3 August 2009 23:42

#64, FYL for not understanding how this website works. People post stories on here for entertainment. Not because they lost all their money, became homeless, are on a library computer, and are about to be arrested. That was a story on here that I once saw and moderated, because no one wants to read that bullshit. Also FYL for writing sentences that can hardly be understood.

somaturee 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 1:15

Today, I had a dream about my ugly cousin. She entered herself in a beauty competition and lost. FML. ;)

notanazi 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 3:38

#66, I actually think those are the best stories. Nobody gives a shit that the OP's cousin had a stupid dream. That is not entertaining whatsoever. The person who got evicted, robbed, and then peed on by a bum on the street, however, is a person who has an interesting and entertaining story for me to read om Fmylife.com.