Miscellaneous: Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole.... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/05/2012 03:29 - United States

Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 374

You deserved it 2 651

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Same thing different taste

By youngboob - 21/10/2014 15:42 - United States - Topeka

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 210

You deserved it 3 690

By tiredmom - 07/07/2016 15:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 342

You deserved it 1 596

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 973

You deserved it 4 105

Hi guys

By unemployed - 11/07/2016 19:09 - United States - Modesto

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 262

You deserved it 819

By cockroach - 27/09/2009 15:52 - United States

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 327

You deserved it 16 753

YAAAAAAAAAAAASS

By shat - 12/12/2015 07:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 985

You deserved it 2 501

By Heartbroken - 20/06/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I spent 2 hours making the perfect card for my dad for Father's Day. When I handed it to him, he smiled and said "Thank you" and then killed a fly with it. I found it in the trash a couple of hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 372

You deserved it 4 309

By CockroachCluster - 02/06/2018 01:30

Today, I turned on my A/C for the first time in a couple of months. A family of ginormous cockroaches climbed out of the air vent and a few clumps of dead cockroaches fell to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 117

You deserved it 485

Very fishy

By Bryce - 10/05/2020 02:00

Today, my dad and I went fishing. We both got a bite, but when we went to reel it in, both our hooks were in the catfish's mouth. He pushed me in the mud and took my hook out its mouth so he could say he caught it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 26/09/2013 16:19 - United States - East Hampton

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 758

You deserved it 3 610

Next

Top comments

FlashBurn 13

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:20

I used to play with those as a kid... I was odd, lol. Use Boric Acid! They squirm in agony before they die. Then use the corpse as an example for other roaches who debate invading your place.

DontClickOnMe 28

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:25

Was the large metal pole necessary or was it just more fun that way? I'd hate to see a cockroach big enough that can only be killed with a large metal pole.

Comments

mugu 0

Thursday 3 May 2012 9:28

Well Psychopathy has been known to be genetic...

hnz 13

Thursday 3 May 2012 10:14

At least bond now than never! Since you like the bonding, why not catch more cockroaches and put it in your house to have more bonding! Or maybe birds as it require more teamwork! Last but not least, happy bonding

shayshayshazam 14

Thursday 3 May 2012 10:26

I'm sure you and I could have a bonding session using your pole ;)

aileen15 15

Thursday 3 May 2012 18:37

wtf?creeper/desperate much?....get a life seriously

shayshayshazam 14

Thursday 3 May 2012 19:32

Yeah because I was obviously extremely serious.

curlyfry33 8

Friday 4 May 2012 6:19

^_^ lol it looks like two chicks getting into a fight, but im glad a pervy comment made it in here, those always make my day.

curlyfry33 8

Friday 4 May 2012 6:23

Oh wait, look at 65s profile "I don't judge anyone" silly little hypocrite, your comment is incredibly judgemental

thejewishfuhrer 17

Thursday 3 May 2012 10:29

I believe congratulation are in order miss, for having a questioning first comment.

linkinpark98 23

Thursday 3 May 2012 10:39

Ahh, gotta love family bonding. :)

thiscrazything 1

Thursday 3 May 2012 11:11

I am wondering how big was the cockroach, that it took two people and a large metal pole to kill it.

Krirn 21

Thursday 3 May 2012 11:16

Error 404 Pun Not Found

mhopper 13

Thursday 3 May 2012 11:18

The family that kills together stays together :)

Ch0sen 13

Thursday 3 May 2012 11:30

That cockroach nobly gave its life so that you two could grow closer. Be grateful for its selfless sacrifice.

shuoq76 10

Thursday 3 May 2012 13:40

You should try and spend more time with your father but roach killing is a great start :D

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The Top

Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 244

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I agree, your life sucks 38 114

You deserved it 3 275

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 140

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I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 3 814

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I agree, your life sucks 33 919

You deserved it 4 635

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I agree, your life sucks 31 165

You deserved it 2 292

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You deserved it 6 694

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You deserved it 150