Miscellaneous: Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole.... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/05/2012 03:29 - United States

Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 375

You deserved it 2 651

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Same thing different taste

By youngboob - 21/10/2014 15:42 - United States - Topeka

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 210

You deserved it 3 690

By tiredmom - 07/07/2016 15:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 342

You deserved it 1 596

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 975

You deserved it 4 106

Hi guys

By unemployed - 11/07/2016 19:09 - United States - Modesto

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 262

You deserved it 819

By cockroach - 27/09/2009 15:52 - United States

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 329

You deserved it 16 753

YAAAAAAAAAAAASS

By shat - 12/12/2015 07:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 986

You deserved it 2 502

By Heartbroken - 20/06/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I spent 2 hours making the perfect card for my dad for Father's Day. When I handed it to him, he smiled and said "Thank you" and then killed a fly with it. I found it in the trash a couple of hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 373

You deserved it 4 309

By CockroachCluster - 02/06/2018 01:30

Today, I turned on my A/C for the first time in a couple of months. A family of ginormous cockroaches climbed out of the air vent and a few clumps of dead cockroaches fell to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 117

You deserved it 485

Very fishy

By Bryce - 10/05/2020 02:00

Today, my dad and I went fishing. We both got a bite, but when we went to reel it in, both our hooks were in the catfish's mouth. He pushed me in the mud and took my hook out its mouth so he could say he caught it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 26/09/2013 16:19 - United States - East Hampton

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 759

You deserved it 3 610

Next

Top comments

FlashBurn 13

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:20

I used to play with those as a kid... I was odd, lol. Use Boric Acid! They squirm in agony before they die. Then use the corpse as an example for other roaches who debate invading your place.

DontClickOnMe 28

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:25

Was the large metal pole necessary or was it just more fun that way? I'd hate to see a cockroach big enough that can only be killed with a large metal pole.

Comments

Dro4200 2

Friday 4 May 2012 1:24

Seriously a metal pole? You and your dad are ******* *******.

iloveyouh1234 0

Friday 4 May 2012 1:37

Wow lol

williamcarter93 13

Friday 4 May 2012 3:40

it took a pole to kill a cockroach?! What the hell? Mutant Ninja Cockroaches!

williamcarter93 13

Friday 4 May 2012 3:44

.

AssTard 15

Friday 4 May 2012 7:27

Was a large, metal, pole necessary to kill a roach?

TECHEM 0

Saturday 5 May 2012 18:01

That's sweet :)

JustAGuy107 0

Monday 7 May 2012 3:10

I know that feel, bro.

dubaixotic 6

Wednesday 9 May 2012 6:03

...... and so a new sport is born...... cockroach pole vaulting.

reiichan 18

Thursday 27 November 2014 8:07

I doubt it's dead. They're good at playing dead... But the little ******* don't die. Ever.

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The Top

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 472

Today, my wife and I can’t decide if we should force my stepson to wait when he rudely demands something, in the hope he’ll learn patience and some manners, or just give him what he wants so he’ll go away and stop making us miserable. He’s 13. FML

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You deserved it 1 300

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 6 693

You deserved it 85 973

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I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 286

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I agree, your life sucks 26 951

You deserved it 2 463

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I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 315

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 772

You deserved it 5 437

Today, after working 12 hours, my scooter broke down 2 miles from home. I had to walk myself and my scooter home all uphill. My boyfriend and his friends drove by, honked and kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 743

You deserved it 5 724