Miscellaneous: Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole.... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/05/2012 03:29 - United States

Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 375

You deserved it 2 651

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Same thing different taste

By youngboob - 21/10/2014 15:42 - United States - Topeka

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 210

You deserved it 3 690

By tiredmom - 07/07/2016 15:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 342

You deserved it 1 596

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 975

You deserved it 4 106

Hi guys

By unemployed - 11/07/2016 19:09 - United States - Modesto

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 262

You deserved it 819

By cockroach - 27/09/2009 15:52 - United States

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 329

You deserved it 16 753

YAAAAAAAAAAAASS

By shat - 12/12/2015 07:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 986

You deserved it 2 502

By Heartbroken - 20/06/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I spent 2 hours making the perfect card for my dad for Father's Day. When I handed it to him, he smiled and said "Thank you" and then killed a fly with it. I found it in the trash a couple of hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 373

You deserved it 4 309

By CockroachCluster - 02/06/2018 01:30

Today, I turned on my A/C for the first time in a couple of months. A family of ginormous cockroaches climbed out of the air vent and a few clumps of dead cockroaches fell to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 117

You deserved it 485

Very fishy

By Bryce - 10/05/2020 02:00

Today, my dad and I went fishing. We both got a bite, but when we went to reel it in, both our hooks were in the catfish's mouth. He pushed me in the mud and took my hook out its mouth so he could say he caught it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 26/09/2013 16:19 - United States - East Hampton

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 759

You deserved it 3 610

Next

Top comments

FlashBurn 13

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:20

I used to play with those as a kid... I was odd, lol. Use Boric Acid! They squirm in agony before they die. Then use the corpse as an example for other roaches who debate invading your place.

DontClickOnMe 28

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:25

Was the large metal pole necessary or was it just more fun that way? I'd hate to see a cockroach big enough that can only be killed with a large metal pole.

Comments

bacon1043 3

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:40

bitch

bacon1043 3

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:44

Chill, im just here trollin cuz i got no life

jerseyboy732 16

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:45

17: don't go callin random girls bi*ches. act like a real guy and have some respect

XHerobrineX 4

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:48

Wrong comment thread?

LennyComa 39

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:50

Why not use you boot to kill the cockroach, go for a beer at the pub, go to a sports game or work on a project together

Jonkbaby 22

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:56

how'd it taste or did you stuff and mount it

DespairFaction 11

Thursday 3 May 2012 9:05

Maybe you should take a more active role in forming a relationship with him. Even if it is hunting roaches.

Kwolfe 7

Thursday 3 May 2012 9:07

Why is everyone concentrating on what OP used to kill the bug? How about how sad it is that OP doesn't have a quality bond with their father.

taera 8

Thursday 3 May 2012 9:08

If this happened when he was very young it could be a great bonding experience. Otherwise, not so much.

Loly19 8

Thursday 3 May 2012 9:15

What a sad family

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 26 878

You deserved it 2 095

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

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You deserved it 731

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You deserved it 308

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I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 125

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I agree, your life sucks 13 341

You deserved it 34 003

Today, my boss told me that I'm being terminated. Apparently, being pregnant means I was going to quit soon anyway, so there's no point. Now I have to get job so I don't get deported. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 207

Today, my date took me to some sort of comic book/computer convention. I think he was trying to impress me with his online reputation, but it didn’t come across as tech suave, it was more nerd pathetic, the kind that makes vaginas go dry faster than a sand enema. I went home alone, bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 1 187