Intimacy: Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football....

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By hawaiianlovechild - 29/11/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 542

You deserved it 3 942

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Same thing different taste

By blenderbookf - 25/11/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 049

You deserved it 3 197

Take the L

By Chrissy - 20/12/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 72

By meunluckycharms - 14/09/2015 19:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 688

You deserved it 1 851

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 245

TMI

By Anonymous - 16/01/2013 21:08 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 571

You deserved it 4 475

By LoveMyNewBro - 04/01/2011 10:56

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 168

You deserved it 5 930

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 721

You deserved it 19 205

Great joke Dad, thanks

By Anonymous - 05/07/2014 17:53 - United States

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 902

You deserved it 7 917

Stay classy

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 19:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 807

You deserved it 3 800

By kaitylait - 19/08/2011 00:59 - Canada

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 543

You deserved it 11 128

Stumblebum30 5

Sunday 29 November 2009 13:27

why is this a FML ?

Moeey 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 12:12

Aloha?

Comments

waywick 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 7:18

he was being nice - he didn't tell you the part about how you were an accident and how you tainted all their memories of that vacation

tme829 1

Monday 22 March 2010 1:51

nothin like some good ol family history

skitzoyd 0

Saturday 3 April 2010 5:19

How is this an fml?

skitzoyd 0

Saturday 3 April 2010 5:20

And my friend was concieved on a kitchen table so that beats this story! Ha! Suck it!

nasat 0

Monday 19 April 2010 14:54

and??? why is that an FML? it's not even funny it's just lame!

Kingjosh1992 4

Friday 23 April 2010 0:08

so. not a big deal.

Miss_gord 0

Tuesday 8 June 2010 8:12

tmi

adorkable1515 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 16:43

Same happened to me... Except my dad decided he needed to show the hotel in which it happened, and even pointed to where the room was...

maddie_lovesyou 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 16:50

haha there is nothing wrong with that I'd love to be born there

maddie_lovesyou 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 16:50

haha there is nothing wrong with that I'd love to be born there

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I agree, your life sucks 30 239

You deserved it 23 019

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I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 918

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 798

You deserved it 10 733

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 379

You deserved it 65 064

Same thing different taste

Take the L

TMI

Great joke Dad, thanks

Stay classy

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