Intimacy: Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't...

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 198

You deserved it 5 876

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Same thing different taste

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 212

You deserved it 4 187

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 699

You deserved it 5 204

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 01:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 070

You deserved it 2 438

Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 174

You deserved it 5 864

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 514

You deserved it 2 901

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 528

By tobuscus9412 - 22/03/2015 01:04 - Australia - Woronora

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 152

You deserved it 3 341

By PizzaNIF - 13/07/2016 17:58 - United States - Henderson

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 839

You deserved it 1 334

By porn daddy - 21/06/2017 00:00

Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 082

You deserved it 448

The birds and the bees

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 105

Han1156 23

Monday 13 May 2013 23:32

Father and son bonding.

iiTzNeeNerz 26

Monday 13 May 2013 23:41

This is his idea of sex education?! Teens already have unrealistic expectations of what sex should be like as it is and he puts on a porno to teach you the fundamentals of a sexual relationship! Then proceed to get an erection! Wow. What did he do next? Point to it and say "this is how you know you're ready for penetration, son" Your dad needs a slap. On the face. With a shovel. -___-

Comments

HopeEndlessly 6

Tuesday 14 May 2013 2:15

I don't know the laws in Italy, but in the US that can constitute a criminal offense of sexual assault for unwanted sexual exposure.

Kimmy___888 8

Tuesday 14 May 2013 2:24

Finally someone who mentions this! Regardless of laws though its still considered as sexual abuse.

Pyapi 20

Tuesday 14 May 2013 3:27

Wait, maybe I have the wrong idea, but if by the law that is not considered sexual abuse then it is not sexual abuse in that country. It's not really "regardless of the law" because the law IS what constitutes it as sexual abuse or not, or am I mistaken?

ChakatBlackstar 29

Tuesday 14 May 2013 2:21

More then my dad ever did. He still owes my first gf an apology.

Kimmy___888 8

Tuesday 14 May 2013 2:22

This actually falls under sexual abuse.

revidffum69 22

Tuesday 14 May 2013 3:12

I am as hard as a rock right now...

anon152 2

Tuesday 14 May 2013 3:34

My kids got me reading fml's. I just created an account to respond to your post. It does not matter if you are a girl or a boy, you need to tell someone who will get you out of that situation. It is NOT ok to do what he did. He could be grooming you for worse. I guarantee he will do it again. Do not let him manipulate you to accept this. Please tell someone who will care and challenge him. My dad was a perv too. I kept it secret and it got worse and worse. Please take good care of yourself.

lininnes 6

Tuesday 14 May 2013 3:35

Another great dad...

ulquiorra102 10

Tuesday 14 May 2013 3:43

That right there? Definition of awkward.

Ziggy122 15

Tuesday 14 May 2013 3:46

*Cleveland Brown voice* That's nasty.

revidffum69 22

Tuesday 14 May 2013 4:06

I believe that was the only way your dad could teach you the birds and bees. Many people are embarrassed to talk to their kids about this stuff. My dad just left Playboys laying around. Lots of good info, by the way. Not just pics, but they sure do help!