Miscellaneous: Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not...

By Watchtower? More like fortress. - 19/10/2012 21:39 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 773

You deserved it 2 521

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By GEE, THANKS DAD - 28/09/2012 22:21 - United States

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 415

You deserved it 8 464

He's a very naughty boy

By Anonymous - 29/03/2020 08:00

Today, a Jehovah's Witness followed me around, talking about Jesus. My dad's a pastor. I hear this stuff all day, every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 190

Survivor

By whyyy - 21/11/2011 23:26 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 902

You deserved it 2 679

By ILiveWithMorons - 12/04/2011 03:07 - United States

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 395

You deserved it 3 344

By Rapunzel - 18/03/2012 20:02 - United States - Tucson

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 122

You deserved it 3 071

By garage - 27/01/2010 06:21 - France

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 719

You deserved it 8 605

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 00:55 - United States

Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 791

You deserved it 2 796

Public menace

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 02/12/2011 06:15 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 052

You deserved it 2 719

By fuck me - 28/11/2013 19:13 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 034

You deserved it 3 670

max_wilder 9

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:05

Burning Jehovah's witnesses is a noble cause. Help him.

lemontree7 3

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:08

This is the best fml ever!! In the past, I have scared them off by answering the door naked, but I love this option!

Comments

RaVeN53 7

Saturday 20 October 2012 15:33

Everyone should do some reasearch before they bash someone else's religion! After reading the majority of these post, I have to say you have been misinformed about Jehovah's Wirtnesses

RaVeN53 7

Saturday 20 October 2012 15:35

**witnesses

666toxic 0

Saturday 20 October 2012 15:54

Exactly they don't even open the door or listen but they think they know everything they're trying to tell them

greeneye_fml 12

Saturday 20 October 2012 17:14

Um, since when do JWs approach cars? It would make more sense to put the flamethrower on the front door.

v1kt4r 13

Saturday 20 October 2012 18:03

What parts of Africa???

saucyrossi 18

Saturday 20 October 2012 19:37

That came from MANswers...

LolPieRofl 11

Saturday 20 October 2012 21:01

KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

Ressamies 6

Saturday 20 October 2012 23:08

That's damn genius idea!

FalconSam1414 19

Sunday 21 October 2012 0:00

Jehovah's witness people are freaking crazy!!! One approached me in Walmart when I was like 7 years old and they offered me a flyer. My mom ripped up the flyer and yelled at them.

jarsah 0

Sunday 21 October 2012 1:05

And I suppose you're father would do the same to Jesus if he were on Earth preaching today? All JWs are doing is imitating Jesus by preaching just like the bible says to do.

KingreX32 21

Sunday 21 October 2012 1:19

your dads awesome.

NigerianMedicine 11

Sunday 21 October 2012 2:32

Err...I've been to Africa, and most people don't do that. A good deal will carry guns or have an armed passenger if they are in dangerous areas, but I have yet to see a flamethrower. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if some Somalis built one for their technicals. The place is like a Mad Max movie.