Miscellaneous: Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout...

By garage - 27/01/2010 06:21 - France

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 722

You deserved it 8 606

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Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "A Forest" by The Cure

By JesusLaidAnEgg - 10/09/2019 14:02

Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 250

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 601

You deserved it 32 274

Alexa, play "Your Daddy's Car" by The Divine Comedy

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 18:00

Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 1 492

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 976

You deserved it 38 683

This is going to be my fault, isn't it?

By jpaylay - 07/06/2022 04:00

Today, my mom had been in a really bad mood. She got in the car to take me to work, and without thinking, started backing up. The garage door was only half open, and now has a huge dent in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 121

By Anonymous - 03/11/2013 21:32 - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 942

You deserved it 44 996

By Anonymous - 25/09/2014 15:52 - United States - Red Oak

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 399

You deserved it 10 922

Stalking

By Idiot32 - 25/05/2019 02:00

Today, I saw my dad driving our red Dakota, and I thought it would be funny to tail him around town. It wasn't until I saw cop lights flashing in my rear-view mirror that I remembered that we'd given away our red truck. I'd scared an old lady so badly that she called the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 2 710

Dad, stop driving my car

By Anonymous - 28/02/2021 00:01 - Puerto Rico - Aguas Buenas

Today, my dad was looking for something in the garage and accidentally knocked over a heavy box, which crushed the new side view mirror I'd bought for my car, because the one my car originally had, he smashed it against a pole while driving my car recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 88

Not worth it

By Anonymous - 26/02/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and for all my life, my dad has been feral about protecting his BMW; we weren’t even allowed to look at it. Well today he decided I was allowed to drive it as an 18th birthday present. I was so nervous, I hyperventilated and passed out in the seat before I even put the key in the ignition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 141

realggirl 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 12:13

Hehe. (: *He* deserved that one.

EMR_fml 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 12:41

I approve of your attempt to murder Ed Cullen. If I saw a glittery gay vampire I'd probably try to mow him down with my car too.

Comments

youthink_fml 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 13:58

You're an idiot. Didn't see it when getting in the car? You slam the gas when something startles you? You had it in gear heading for the garage door while it's down? No matter how you look at it, you're a moron and shouldn't be driving.

MURPHYCHACHO 5

Wednesday 27 January 2010 14:00

Don't worry. If I saw Edward Cullen I'd probably try to run him over too. The abusive, stalking, manipulative ****.

waterynuggets 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 14:05

Don't quit yer day job, you suck at making up FMLs.

BlueTwist89 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 14:13

If your dad knew you were that obsessed with twilight—and Edward Cullen—he should have thought twice about putting the cutout there. He deserved that. Doesn't mean it doesn't suck that half the garage door is missing, lol.

polico_wolf 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 18:45

where does it say that he op was obsessed with twilight and edward cullen?

jamjenni2774 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 14:20

This is one of the most stupid FML's I have ever read

wallflower3 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 14:21

Is anyone else wondering how OP's dad managed to get ahold of a most likely lifesize Edward Cullen cutout?

Twinklestar 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 14:25

How do you "have" to date people? Can you not make choices for yourself?

Twinklestar 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 14:28

Sounds like another Twilight anti-fan making up an FML just to voice their ever so original dislike of the movie. It makes no sense how you would hit the garage door if you were backing out of the garage, unless you back out of the garage with the door closed.. I mean this isn't just calling fake for the sake of it. It just doesn't make sense, even if the OP phrased it wrong and really meant she was driving forwards into or out of the garage, or backing into the garage rather than out. The garage door would still have to be open.

Compass 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 14:39

That seems like a pretty reasonable reaction. If I saw Edward Cullen in real life, I'd probably freak the **** out, trying to find my gun, knowing garlic, crosses, and wooden stakes wouldn't save me against a sparkly vampire.