Miscellaneous: Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated...

By fuck you dad - 30/03/2013 18:17 - Ireland - Carrickmacross

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 511

You deserved it 55 568

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Same thing different taste

Catchphrase hell

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 22:56 - United States

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it was. He just paused, turned to look me in the eye, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 968

You deserved it 20 514

By Anonymous - 22/08/2014 18:41 - United States - Doylestown

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 118

You deserved it 42 999

By idonteven - 12/08/2013 20:04 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 030

You deserved it 4 486

Snapping

By Marquise - 11/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 477

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 579

You deserved it 2 558

Crisis control

By Cuntlette - 11/04/2014 16:38 - Australia - Brighton

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 576

You deserved it 3 374

By rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 586

You deserved it 31 059

By Anonymous - 14/07/2013 19:37 - Brazil - Campinas

Today, while mourning my friend's recent passing, my dad told me to shut the fuck up because "worse things are going on in the world". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 778

You deserved it 4 667

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Atlanta

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 871

You deserved it 19 272

What?

By Fuck you dad - 16/09/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, whenever my dad says something and I (genuinely) don't hear him, he repeats it in an extremely slow and condescending manner. My family says I should "get a sense of humor" because I'm rightfully pissed about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 154

cherries62212 16

Sunday 31 March 2013 3:43

well... that escalated quickly...

JellyBalls 18

Sunday 31 March 2013 3:45

Respect your parents.

Comments

DudeEvil 22

Sunday 31 March 2013 5:17

Darn it I'm not fast enough!

blackman100 20

Sunday 31 March 2013 5:21

Can I say trolololololol!

Obey_StudBoii 23

Sunday 31 March 2013 5:23

You sound like a pain in the ass. Quit complaining and have respect for your parents.

Ponponpon_fml 5

Sunday 31 March 2013 5:25

Actually that escalated rather slowly.

supersavvy 16

Sunday 31 March 2013 5:30

At least he is current, my dad still replies 'that's so raven' to statements.

sig4life 18

Sunday 31 March 2013 5:38

At least it isn't "I am not trying to be facetious but...." That is the word of the year for my father.

bluehero 17

Sunday 31 March 2013 5:43

Lmao! I want my dad to say that. You got owned.

tommyfox 19

Sunday 31 March 2013 5:44

You sir just got pwned.

aniceguyYo 2

Sunday 31 March 2013 5:57

At last you have a dad that understand what memes are ...

simplysarcastics 26

Sunday 31 March 2013 6:00

Lol i think your dad is awesome, it wouldn't bother me much so id let my dad have his fun with the memes he deserves it.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 272

You deserved it 3 976

The Top

Today, even though I don’t have a problem with my ex having sex, I do have a problem with her bringing dudes home, who then meet my kid, confusing him. My kid is 4 years-old asked me if the guy from yesterday was his daddy, or if I was his daddy, even though I visit him every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 194

Today, I had to take my son to hospital because he had two Lego pieces up his nose. He’s 19 and shoved them up there because he was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 157

Today, I found out my boss was quiet-firing me on purpose. Apparently, his daughter who works at this same company is pregnant now and needs a promotion. I have a Master’s and have been here for 9 years. She dropped out of college because it was “too hard” and the other day she put a metal spoon in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 91

Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 347

Today, my girlfriend was mad I have so many female contacts in my phone and demanded I delete some of them. Two thirds of them are blood relatives, the rest are coworkers, and one is a friend I’ve known since primary school, who is dying of a brain tumour. Which exactly should I delete? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 130

Today, I found out my Chemistry professor failed me on purpose, all because she’s still salty about me dating her ex-husband. This was well over a year ago. You’d think someone with a PhD would be mature enough to move on and stop being a bitter bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 1 319