Kids: Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney... - FML

By MakeMyDay_27 - 27/06/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 954

You deserved it 5 638

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Same thing different taste

By me - 06/05/2013 00:56 - United States - Floresville

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 562

You deserved it 6 965

Rare insults corner

By ButImBeautiful - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, a little girl came up to me and told me I looked like a foot. Thanks a bunch, darling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 714

You deserved it 685

By anonymous - 02/11/2014 09:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 239

You deserved it 5 360

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 178

You deserved it 10 071

By silverstar189 - 01/01/2010 15:41 - United States

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 253

You deserved it 4 021

By Missyangel - 31/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 376

You deserved it 11 458

Say it ain't so

By loserwithlice - 26/07/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I told my 8 year-old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she's ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 944

You deserved it 6 295

Lookalikes

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 13:58 - Germany - Bruchsal

Today, my boyfriend told me that his daughter only liked me because she thought that we look like siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 93

By alejita - 02/03/2009 05:52 - United States

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 140

You deserved it 9 848

By disappointed - 01/07/2016 03:31 - United States - Rockville

Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 044

You deserved it 1 483

Next

Top comments

ComTlancy 12

Monday 27 June 2011 23:03

you've got to be kidney-ing me...

SophisticatedJel 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:05

tell her it runs in the family and that soon her head will be shaped just like yours!

Comments

ilm350 7

Tuesday 28 June 2011 3:54

tell her she's the lucky one that you even take her out in public HA! jk

sueannpalma 7

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:09

smack her

icexcrystalxeyes 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:15

Lol that's sad. Fyl.

icexcrystalxeyes 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:15

Lol that's sad. Fyl.

icadragoon 11

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:22

Kids, they're just like tiny alcoholics. Just without the alcohol.

misswendy_fml 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:29

great back talking already. great roll model you are.

SDMF 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:35

Discipline. Try it.

structuredchaoz 4

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:39

You raised it. Fix it.

waywil 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:40

quit taking her out in public and you wont have anything to worry about...well, except your kiney head...maybe wear hats?

cetlawizard 15

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:59

who the heck does your kid hang out with to have her head so far up her own butt? or are you the stuck up yay who she picked up that crap from? just curious....if it's not you then you need to get rid of some of your kids friends after you explain to their parents that your kid is becoming an ass from hanging out with their kids.

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The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 220

You deserved it 5 961

Today, my best friend called me a slut during an argument, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. She lost her virginity at 13 years-old, and all four of her kids have a different dad. When I mentioned it, she gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 152

The Top

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 447

You deserved it 14 433

Today, I met up with my 'on again, off again' girlfriend of 4 years that I'm still madly in love with. We've been broken up for a few months and she's been dating someone else. We talked about possibly trying things again. When I got home, I found out she's engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 859

You deserved it 4 633

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 264

You deserved it 3 048

Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 270

You deserved it 5 341

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 975

You deserved it 5 285

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 281

You deserved it 31 827