Kids: Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney... - FML

By MakeMyDay_27 - 27/06/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 954

You deserved it 5 638

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Same thing different taste

By me - 06/05/2013 00:56 - United States - Floresville

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 562

You deserved it 6 965

Rare insults corner

By ButImBeautiful - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, a little girl came up to me and told me I looked like a foot. Thanks a bunch, darling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 714

You deserved it 685

By anonymous - 02/11/2014 09:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 239

You deserved it 5 360

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 178

You deserved it 10 071

By silverstar189 - 01/01/2010 15:41 - United States

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 253

You deserved it 4 021

By Missyangel - 31/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 376

You deserved it 11 458

Say it ain't so

By loserwithlice - 26/07/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I told my 8 year-old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she's ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 944

You deserved it 6 295

Lookalikes

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 13:58 - Germany - Bruchsal

Today, my boyfriend told me that his daughter only liked me because she thought that we look like siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 93

By alejita - 02/03/2009 05:52 - United States

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 140

You deserved it 9 848

By disappointed - 01/07/2016 03:31 - United States - Rockville

Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 044

You deserved it 1 483

Next

Top comments

ComTlancy 12

Monday 27 June 2011 23:03

you've got to be kidney-ing me...

SophisticatedJel 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:05

tell her it runs in the family and that soon her head will be shaped just like yours!

Comments

woahwoahwow 9

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:12

Tell her it's what happens when you don't eat your vegetables. Your head turns into the shape of one.

gibby1235 6

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:49

yeah cause that makes so much sense

woahwoahwow 9

Tuesday 28 June 2011 3:22

How many six year olds have an over developed sense of logic? Does the tooth fairy make sense? The Easter Bunny? Santa Clause?

waywil 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 13:49

Are you trying to tell us there isn't a tooth fairy, an Easter Bunny, or Santa Claus? WTF.... my whole life is a lie! What about a Leprechaun with a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...please tell me that is real, so I have some peace of mind!

johnnybagodonuts 2

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:13

tell her she's adopted

mollylovesmac 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:13

Gotta love kids...

SneakherHead 5

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:15

Tell her you almost had an abortion

neonpanda44 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:16

who do you let her hang around with?!??

KingDingALing 9

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:19

Thabeasty01, you seriously need to shut the **** up. First off, you don't know how to use proper grammar. Second of all, you're NOT funny. Third of all, the winky faces and smiley faces don't make your arguments any stronger. Lastly, nobody is on anyone's dick. Just because nobody agrees with you doesn't mean that they're on the other person's dick. You are retarded and you need to go kill yourself, you ******* asshole.

jonnybegood_fml 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:20

I don't blame her, your lucky im even replying to your fml in public.

cheer_coach 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:27

imagine what will be coming out of her mouth at 16!

Tonyy1 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:29

hah good point #8!

fadingfaith 4

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:30

You know kids always say the truth....

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The Top

Today, I saw the woman I asked out last month in a relationship with another guy. She rejected me because she “wanted to focus on herself.” I texted her and asked why she had lied to me. She responded with, “Okay, you caught me. But can you blame me? I’m not attracted to butt ugly Martian-looking men.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 634

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 493

You deserved it 15 058

The Top

Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 199

You deserved it 2 535

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 275

You deserved it 7 759

Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 356

You deserved it 1 288

Today, my pain-in-the-ass co-worker is finally leaving. Unfortunately, I was chosen to do the bulk of her job. She has given me no training and on her last day, just smirked at me on her way out and said, "Enjoy doing my job too, fucker." I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 898

You deserved it 1 901

Today, I realized my habit of asking people for money came to an all time high when I asked a girl to Cash App me $5 through Instagram. She literally sent me A PENNY, said, “Quit fucking asking me for money fam” and then blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 1 997

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 451

You deserved it 3 310