Animals: Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman....

By a man - 10/04/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 081

You deserved it 3 890

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Mr.P - 21/10/2011 15:35 - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 224

You deserved it 3 267

By PerfectTiming - 08/07/2013 11:19 - Netherlands - Eindhoven

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 895

You deserved it 4 691

By Drafty - 07/11/2012 21:30 - United States - Sylmar

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 430

You deserved it 7 616

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 885

You deserved it 4 202

By damn dog - 05/07/2013 05:43 - United States

Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 690

You deserved it 7 862

By Stoopiddogbot - 12/02/2013 13:18 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 521

You deserved it 4 386

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 92

Deep dish

By Grauncho - 22/09/2012 14:12 - United States - Chicago

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 726

You deserved it 3 617

By hoo flung pu - 03/10/2013 08:26 - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 259

You deserved it 3 716

Where there's a will…

By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 263

Doortje 29

Monday 11 April 2011 0:43

That's actually pretty awesome. Call it design/modern art and pretty soon all your neighbours want to borrow your dog.

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

Monday 11 April 2011 0:38

Thats one big dog!

Comments

xlil_miss_emo_x 6

Monday 11 April 2011 7:35

i would love to see the hole in that wall lol and damn your dog must be huge because it weighs more than I do! Lol and I hope he had fun and is allright lol. Tell him no more underdog re-enactments :)

MrBrick 0

Monday 11 April 2011 9:47

are you saying we can throw u through a wall cuz u weigh more than 125?

hanzoo 0

Monday 11 April 2011 10:17

hahaa I'd love it if my dog did something interesting like that, mine just sits around !

BeckyPsyche 0

Monday 11 April 2011 10:46

I freaking love your dog!

Popatopagain 0

Monday 11 April 2011 10:57

Wait wtf? 180 lbs dog? Ummmm, are you sure it want your sister

rends 0

Monday 11 April 2011 13:17

Might as well try and find out. "But I don't wanna use my head!"

Lkgirl500_fml 0

Monday 11 April 2011 15:31

Love it and what type of dog? And was it wearing a cape?

VeeEight 5

Monday 11 April 2011 16:10

What the **** kind of obese dog do you have? I feel bad for 180lb of dog that has to walk!!!! **** you for letting her get that big!

xoxchelaxox08 17

Tuesday 12 April 2011 0:13

You do realise that some breeds do get to be over 200 pounds? My female Neapolitan mastiff weighed in at 190 today, and she's not fat. Learn about what you chose to bitch about beforehand. You sound like a dumb ****.