Animals: Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman....

By a man - 10/04/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 081

You deserved it 3 890

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By Mr.P - 21/10/2011 15:35 - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 224

You deserved it 3 267

By PerfectTiming - 08/07/2013 11:19 - Netherlands - Eindhoven

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 895

You deserved it 4 691

By Drafty - 07/11/2012 21:30 - United States - Sylmar

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 430

You deserved it 7 616

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 885

You deserved it 4 202

By damn dog - 05/07/2013 05:43 - United States

Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 690

You deserved it 7 862

By Stoopiddogbot - 12/02/2013 13:18 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 521

You deserved it 4 386

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 92

Deep dish

By Grauncho - 22/09/2012 14:12 - United States - Chicago

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 726

You deserved it 3 617

By hoo flung pu - 03/10/2013 08:26 - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 259

You deserved it 3 716

Where there's a will…

By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 263

Doortje 29

Monday 11 April 2011 0:43

That's actually pretty awesome. Call it design/modern art and pretty soon all your neighbours want to borrow your dog.

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

Monday 11 April 2011 0:38

Thats one big dog!

Comments

jwarwick 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 2:49

paint a superman cape around the hole...

asshole123456 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:22

U mean 18 lbs a dog would die of 180lbs of pressure on their organs...

evperry 2

Wednesday 13 April 2011 8:20

that isn't a dog it's a ******* horse

catwoman69 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 12:40

Hahahahhahahahahahah bestt thing ever! wish my dog was that cool!

taelorrae011 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 17:44

180 lb dog!? what kind is it?

PaulTalley 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 4:02

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

nedraAa 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 2:32

Why does your fml have a dash before it?

Match_87 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 2:34

Diet kibbles n bits maybe?

nana2255 0

Monday 23 May 2011 21:07

hahahahahaha cant stop laughing just imaging it

bkent9 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 5:04

lol!!!!!!! I literally laughed out loud

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Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 202

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 39

The Top

Today, my 9 year-old managed to break the padlock on my display cabinet, take out my entire sword collection, run to the garden making lightsaber noises, and bash them on trees and a stone wall. They are ruined. One of them has a crack that has damn near snapped it in two. I want to weep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 396

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 417

You deserved it 3 899

Today, I woke up in a pool of what felt like sweat and tears. Little did I realize, my then-girlfriend had snuck into the house and drenched me in salty water to get me back for kissing her sister. I guess we're even now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 1 843

Today, I was flying back home from college with my Mom. At the airport, the ticket agent tells us she only has one ticket listed for Margaret. My mom and I have the same name. American Airlines thought a Margaret had bought two tickets by mistake, so they cancelled one of the transactions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 896

You deserved it 4 577

Today, I was standing on the balcony I share with the neighboring apartment. My morbidly obese neighbor didn't know I was there, and walked out with her breasts exposed. Her boyfriend then walked out and struck up a conversation with me about the fine weather we're having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 169

Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 546

You deserved it 2 451

Same thing different taste

I don't know my strength

Deep dish

Where there's a will…

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