Animals: Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman....

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By a man - 10/04/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 085

You deserved it 3 891

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
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Same thing different taste

By Mr.P - 21/10/2011 15:35 - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 230

You deserved it 3 271

By PerfectTiming - 08/07/2013 11:19 - Netherlands - Eindhoven

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 896

You deserved it 4 695

By Drafty - 07/11/2012 21:30 - United States - Sylmar

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 436

You deserved it 7 622

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 888

You deserved it 4 203

By damn dog - 05/07/2013 05:43 - United States

Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 695

You deserved it 7 866

By Stoopiddogbot - 12/02/2013 13:18 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 526

You deserved it 4 389

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 96

Deep dish

By Grauncho - 22/09/2012 14:12 - United States - Chicago

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 730

You deserved it 3 621

By hoo flung pu - 03/10/2013 08:26 - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 261

You deserved it 3 719

Where there's a will…

By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 265

Doortje 29

Monday 11 April 2011 0:43

That's actually pretty awesome. Call it design/modern art and pretty soon all your neighbours want to borrow your dog.

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

Monday 11 April 2011 0:38

Thats one big dog!

Comments

mendes1987 0

Monday 11 April 2011 18:33

hah! I love dogs

Shanana_hey 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 0:59

This is the best FML ever.

NBS93 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 2:32

Today, my FML had a random hyphen at the beginning of it and there was no space between "180" and "lbs". FML

shakadoo 10

Tuesday 12 April 2011 3:46

hahaha that's soooooooooo funny haaaa haaaa

Gaiwa 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 5:14

180 lbs??? That's a big, heavy dog O_O

ASISMason759 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 5:42

they should have an "epic winning" button :P

runninbrotha 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 6:27

if my dog didnt weigh 45 pounds she would have ran through a lot of walls by now :P

Anonymouser81 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 6:40

Clifford?

teeheelicious 2

Tuesday 12 April 2011 9:27

OMG! just like in the cartoons!!! rofl xD

rockarolln89 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 16:42

Jesus H. Christ, either your dog is Clifford or he's just morbidly obese...

xoxchelaxox08 17

Tuesday 12 April 2011 16:51

You're a ******* moron. Google Irish wolfhound, English mastiff, or great Dane. It's not unusual for these breeds to reach 200 pounds at a healthy weight. My Neapolitan mastiff weighs 190, and is not the least bit fat.