By hmb - 16/09/2010 18:50 - United States

Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 078
You deserved it 2 919

Same thing different taste

Top comments

perdix 29

So, even the dog can tell you're not a lady, but a tramp.

Y'all are a bunch of *******, LYING DOWN to recover?? What in the **** is wrong with you?! I mean seriously, lying down? Whenever I'm trying to recover, I do so by running across america 47 times while carrying an elephant in a forrest gump t shirt over my shoulder, and when I finish that in approximately 32.00839721 seconds flat, I bench press your mom 1 and a half times, cuz that's all I'm capble of. when I finish with that, I go deep sea diving in a sea of naked Martian women, isn't quite as nice as it sounds, I mean they have 8 vaginas each, but it's like Russian roullette as to which one will or will not tear off your penis-- not fun, trust me! But it's not too bad when you get used to it, as long as you drink long enough for them to look relatively like humans, which isn't too hard from the front, but you don't want to look from behind or you'll turn to stone. good for me though because I'm not a huge fan of anal, unless the girll is a buttterface, which land o lakes or I can't believe it ain't butter is a decent substitute for a butterface prostitute, if you're interested, I can hook you up with captain hook and his unicorn, now that's a bad ass wingman right there. Your penis will thank me!

Comments

ouchie! I know exactly how that feels. Like your insides are being burnt with a torch or something! Last year i had my gallbladder removed. I was laying on the couch and we have one of those huge "cat condo" perches with the carpet behind the couch. All 4 of my cats jumped on my stomach one by one from the cat perch behind the couch. Worst pain Ive ever been in but was too drugged up to actually move. Pets are cruel. You think they love you, but in your darkest hour they'll use you as a landing pad without second thought. LOL.

Ouch. I think I should move my cat condo before something like this happens to me!

Dudeitscaleb 0
kitxxkat1408 0

The same exact thing happened to me too

I definitely feel your pain, but you deserve it for laying anywhere that an animal can jump on you.

glambert1998 0
manonwater 0

Ouch!!! Dogs can be such pains sometimes!!!