By hmb - 16/09/2010 18:50 - United States

Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 078
You deserved it 2 919

Same thing different taste

Top comments

perdix 29

So, even the dog can tell you're not a lady, but a tramp.

Y'all are a bunch of *******, LYING DOWN to recover?? What in the **** is wrong with you?! I mean seriously, lying down? Whenever I'm trying to recover, I do so by running across america 47 times while carrying an elephant in a forrest gump t shirt over my shoulder, and when I finish that in approximately 32.00839721 seconds flat, I bench press your mom 1 and a half times, cuz that's all I'm capble of. when I finish with that, I go deep sea diving in a sea of naked Martian women, isn't quite as nice as it sounds, I mean they have 8 vaginas each, but it's like Russian roullette as to which one will or will not tear off your penis-- not fun, trust me! But it's not too bad when you get used to it, as long as you drink long enough for them to look relatively like humans, which isn't too hard from the front, but you don't want to look from behind or you'll turn to stone. good for me though because I'm not a huge fan of anal, unless the girll is a buttterface, which land o lakes or I can't believe it ain't butter is a decent substitute for a butterface prostitute, if you're interested, I can hook you up with captain hook and his unicorn, now that's a bad ass wingman right there. Your penis will thank me!

Comments

Rotties 0

you were lying on the floor?!?

For **** sake OP, Answer the question! Why were you lying on the floor ?!?!?!!

A lot of people lie down on the floor after painful surgeries because the coldness of the floor helps to relieve the pain, believe it or not. FYL OP I can only imagine how painful must that be. I hope you get better soon. And for the trolls yeah, sometimes are funny, but come on making fun of other's suffering is just lame, because you would be crazy mad if someone would be making fun of your suffering, I'm going to make sure of breaking some troll's arm if I ever get to see you and a couple of days later I'm going to hit you again on that arm, to see if you laugh and when you complain about it on the interweb I will laugh a lot.

Why does the human body suck so much? Appendicitis, wisdom teeth, etc.

bleedingglitter 24

Because it wasn't designed very intelligently...

clearly not 102, if it was designed intelligently we wouldn't have you now would we?

I have a feeling your dog secretly hates you... =)

Focker218_fml 0

Dang, you should get a real dog

boohoo you whiney ass, I was working two days after I had mine out

Oh, and 81, you're pathetic. only 12 year olds and trolls talk trash from the safety of their computer. Ironic.

joshdairyman 6

i just had mine removed. i got punched by some jerk. hurts