Health: Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into... - FML

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 727

You deserved it 3 072

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Same thing different taste

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 795

You deserved it 30 930

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 3 035

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 741

You deserved it 893

By MisterBrown - 15/02/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 771

You deserved it 3 360

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 312

You deserved it 3 321

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 444

You deserved it 11 656

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 415

You deserved it 4 054

The squits

By Cliff - 11/10/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 87

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 474

You deserved it 4 811

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 362

You deserved it 230

Next

Top comments

TheBrickWithouse 10

Friday 29 July 2011 1:23

i have one word for you: buckets. Seriously though, FYL.

prelim_champ 10

Friday 29 July 2011 1:37

The visual image of a "diarrhea fountain" is quite vomit-inducing...

Comments

ProudTexan117 0

Friday 29 July 2011 2:11

lame.....totally not cool....

Salkadi 9

Friday 29 July 2011 2:15

I really didn't want a mental image of a diarrhea fountain

kissingdeath 0

Friday 29 July 2011 2:25

SHIITake muSHROOMS anyone??

Michael_Kelso 0

Friday 29 July 2011 2:27

Must have eaten Taco Bell.

ilikeapplejuice 7

Friday 29 July 2011 2:55

LOL or white castle

MadameKay_fml 0

Friday 29 July 2011 2:39

crash your neighbor's toilet!!

Contankerton 2

Friday 29 July 2011 2:41

oh dear... isn't that a pretty picture...

perdix 29

Friday 29 July 2011 3:09

You have a kitchen sink, don't you? A neighbor you don't like? A helmet? When molten shit is flying out of your bunghole, you've got to think outside the box.

THEmuffinpan 0

Friday 29 July 2011 3:57

Or bowl, rather.

emem77 0

Friday 29 July 2011 3:14

oh wow that sux n ew:/

Mister_Grinch 0

Friday 29 July 2011 3:15

The way you put this sentence together is what disgusts me. Not grammar, I mean the "shit fountain" or whayever you said.

stevenmx86 7

Friday 29 July 2011 3:19

That's a creative use of indigestion...

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The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 59

Today, my cat got his head stuck in the handle of a plastic bag while snooping. Unfortunately, it was the bag I use to put his turds in after scooping them from the litter tray. With the bag trapped around his neck, he got spooked, then ran around the house, spreading turds from the bag as he fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 106

You deserved it 546

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 30 980

You deserved it 4 229

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I agree, your life sucks 57 577

You deserved it 9 075

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I agree, your life sucks 13 679

You deserved it 25 211

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 717

You deserved it 26 758

Today, I'm in my mid-twenties and just learned that I still start crying in confusing situations. I found this out by getting the wrong train in a foreign country, and then having the conductor come and tell me my ticket was only valid for the other direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 756

You deserved it 280

Today, and like every day, after I'd just had finished serving a customer on one side of the store, my boss asked me to go help another one on the other side of the store, which is literally a 2-minute walk away, while 2 other staff members were besides him, doing nothing. I don't even get paid commission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 114