Health: Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into... - FML

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 728

You deserved it 3 073

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 795

You deserved it 30 935

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 3 036

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 745

You deserved it 893

By MisterBrown - 15/02/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 772

You deserved it 3 361

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 3 321

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 447

You deserved it 11 656

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 429

You deserved it 4 058

The squits

By Cliff - 11/10/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 92

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 230

Next

Top comments

TheBrickWithouse 10

Friday 29 July 2011 1:23

i have one word for you: buckets. Seriously though, FYL.

prelim_champ 10

Friday 29 July 2011 1:37

The visual image of a "diarrhea fountain" is quite vomit-inducing...

Comments

ProudTexan117 0

Friday 29 July 2011 2:11

lame.....totally not cool....

Salkadi 9

Friday 29 July 2011 2:15

I really didn't want a mental image of a diarrhea fountain

kissingdeath 0

Friday 29 July 2011 2:25

SHIITake muSHROOMS anyone??

Michael_Kelso 0

Friday 29 July 2011 2:27

Must have eaten Taco Bell.

ilikeapplejuice 7

Friday 29 July 2011 2:55

LOL or white castle

MadameKay_fml 0

Friday 29 July 2011 2:39

crash your neighbor's toilet!!

Contankerton 2

Friday 29 July 2011 2:41

oh dear... isn't that a pretty picture...

perdix 29

Friday 29 July 2011 3:09

You have a kitchen sink, don't you? A neighbor you don't like? A helmet? When molten shit is flying out of your bunghole, you've got to think outside the box.

THEmuffinpan 0

Friday 29 July 2011 3:57

Or bowl, rather.

emem77 0

Friday 29 July 2011 3:14

oh wow that sux n ew:/

Mister_Grinch 0

Friday 29 July 2011 3:15

The way you put this sentence together is what disgusts me. Not grammar, I mean the "shit fountain" or whayever you said.

stevenmx86 7

Friday 29 July 2011 3:19

That's a creative use of indigestion...

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 080

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, I learned that my girlfriend prefered being fully under the blanket during our first time to avoid being cold and to save electricity. This would've been completely fine by me if she didn't have IBS. Done the math yet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 167

Taco Tuesday is a barrel of laughs until it's time to bid the beans and cheese farewell. Better out than in though, eh?

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 231

Today, my electricity supplier cut my power off. Literally. They cut the cable that supplies my apartment in electricity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 62

Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 702

You deserved it 1 482

Today, my daughter told me she “doesn’t ever see herself getting in a relationship” and “dating just isn’t for her.” She’s 30 and has never been with anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 936

Today was my moms wedding and I was the maid of honor! I was so excited to walk down the isle with my mom, but the church was so dry I got a bloody nose 5 minutes before going down. I couldn’t go down the isle or watch my mom go down either. I had to stay in the back and hold my nose up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 276

You deserved it 194