Kids: Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report... - FML

By nosestealer - 07/07/2013 21:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 476

You deserved it 9 866

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Same thing different taste

So innocent

By Anonymous - 21/02/2020 01:00

Today, my 5 year-old stabbed me in the back with a pencil because I "stole" her nose and wouldn’t give it back. My daughter has been sulking now for 3 hours and refuses to breathe until she gets her nose back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 613

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 179

You deserved it 6 096

By crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 652

You deserved it 3 132

By Anonymous - 21/09/2012 04:51 - United States

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 460

You deserved it 3 786

By titoutou222 - 22/10/2011 12:40 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It's cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 511

You deserved it 18 615

Temper tantrum

By "QueenCortana Tiffany Turner" - 07/02/2020 14:00

Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 340

You deserved it 296

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 621

You deserved it 6 931

By bail? - 29/08/2019 23:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 181

Home improvement

By ... - 27/07/2014 05:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 311

You deserved it 5 391

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 16:17 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 395

You deserved it 3 357

Next

Top comments

kzai 16

Monday 8 July 2013 7:16

Did they help find it?!

MzZombicidal 36

Monday 8 July 2013 7:17

Voldemort?

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 8 July 2013 15:59

Uncle Bob will never play "got your nose" with her again. At least not until he gets out of prison.

Isuckatthis 18

Monday 8 July 2013 17:10

Aaaw, that's just cute. I hope the police didn't mind

doglover100 28

Monday 8 July 2013 17:15

Her nose was stolen, can't blame her. She seems adorable. It will be a funny story for the future.

B00K_L0V3R93 31

Monday 8 July 2013 17:23

That is so cute. I bet the operator who took the call thought it was adorable and probably brightened their day. I would be proud to know that your child knows who to call in an emergency.

Omniprism 14

Monday 8 July 2013 17:27

Crazy smart little girl. Hopefully she'll put that to good use as an adult.

K410 18

Monday 8 July 2013 17:27

This maybe the cutest FML ever XD

ShoyuSauceSoup 26

Monday 8 July 2013 17:38

This was a very cute FML. And believe me, you'll laugh at it some years from now. When I was 5 years old, I did lots of things like this, and my mother laughs at them.

AllegroRubato 16

Monday 8 July 2013 18:24

Bwahahaha what an adorable daughter! :D

bmskittles 5

Monday 8 July 2013 18:37

LMAO

thisawkwardchick 15

Monday 8 July 2013 19:54

That's adorable!!!

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Well that's adorable.

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Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML

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