Kids: Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report...

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By nosestealer - 07/07/2013 21:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 478

You deserved it 9 868

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Same thing different taste

So innocent

By Anonymous - 21/02/2020 01:00

Today, my 5 year-old stabbed me in the back with a pencil because I "stole" her nose and wouldn’t give it back. My daughter has been sulking now for 3 hours and refuses to breathe until she gets her nose back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 619

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 189

You deserved it 6 099

By crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 660

You deserved it 3 133

By Anonymous - 21/09/2012 04:51 - United States

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 470

You deserved it 3 788

By titoutou222 - 22/10/2011 12:40 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It's cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 514

You deserved it 18 619

Temper tantrum

By QueenCortana Tiffany Turner - 07/02/2020 14:00

Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 346

You deserved it 300

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 628

You deserved it 6 935

By bail? - 29/08/2019 23:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 182

Home improvement

By ... - 27/07/2014 05:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 316

You deserved it 5 393

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 16:17 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 398

You deserved it 3 359

kzai 16

Monday 8 July 2013 7:16

Did they help find it?!

MzZombicidal 36

Monday 8 July 2013 7:17

Voldemort?

Comments

Spartan3457 2

Monday 8 July 2013 20:05

That's super adorable. :)

Scoiattolo 10

Monday 8 July 2013 20:37

Best FML ever

BinxMarBear 5

Monday 8 July 2013 20:38

That's actually really cute lol

Xotoolyxo 16

Monday 8 July 2013 20:54

Your daughter is adorable! But you might want to have a talk about when the appropriate time to call 911 is.

crystyx3 9

Monday 8 July 2013 22:21

That is just wonderful

wonders8 3

Monday 8 July 2013 22:38

Well did she get her nose back?!

MisterImpetus 7

Monday 8 July 2013 22:44

LOOK OUT! HE'S GOT A NOSE!

francisco92 8

Monday 8 July 2013 23:10

Kid probly called the cops because the ransom was too high, nice work

diceypooh 7

Monday 8 July 2013 23:24

At least you taught her at an early age where to go for help when mommy and daddy can't get to her

crystyx3 9

Monday 8 July 2013 23:37

That's just wonderful

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I agree, your life sucks 28 673

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I agree, your life sucks 18 665

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I agree, your life sucks 31 115

You deserved it 18 094

Same thing different taste

So innocent

Temper tantrum

Home improvement

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