Love: Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough,...

By sickened - 25/08/2009 14:17 - Philippines

Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 758

You deserved it 68 065

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Same thing different taste

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 983

You deserved it 46 606

Sneaky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 007

You deserved it 5 094

Crossed wires

By hudd357mag - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 755

You deserved it 2 532

Killing the mood

By hotmess - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 653

You deserved it 8 778

He's got game

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 590

You deserved it 6 175

Unfazed and dazed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Lewes

Today, I found out that licking your very chapped lips while totally zoned out and looking in the general direction of a girl, will end up with you becoming the massive college creeper that everyone avoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 542

You deserved it 3 701

Sirens

By yumx24 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 16 198

Neil Diamond was wrong

By LucyLollipop - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 937

Misunderstanding

By vanessa_d15 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 119

You deserved it 6 752

jewjewbee 6

Tuesday 25 August 2009 20:05

idiot. you PRETEND to be drunk. then you hook up with him, remember everything, are in control of how much you act like a fool, and can blame it on the alcohol later. puking isn't sexy.

Clever_Nick_Here 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 20:07

Not brave enough to just go hit on him? You asked for that one.

Comments

mo_the_owl 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:45

oh jesus. It's shit like this that makes me embarrassed to be a woman. Not that men don't pull stupid shit, but for god's sake! Have some dignity!! YDI FOR BEING A STUPID DRUNK WITH NO SOCIAL SKILLS!!

leofan15 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:47

lmao ew you puked in his ear??...

AshleyRose784 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:16

it's always your fault, blaming alcohol is just stupid

triplethreat13 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:20

blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol! haha sorry, that was quite tempting to say. why would you get drunk? just walk over to him and say how you feel. if he doesn't feel the same way, just deal with it. act like an adult.

munkycrazy 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:30

how stupid! just tell him. if you don't have the guts to tell him how you feel w/o getting drunk .... maybe you don't feel much for him. or maybe you want him to use you like a **** by taking advantage of your drunk ass

waterynuggets 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:35

Girl you know I feel good unlike how you look couple mo' shots u open up like a book u trippin

tbwrb 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 1:16

In honesty your plan sucked from the start. Truth be told it's better to make a move, any move, whilst sober or after just one or two drinks, don't try and get pissed just to make a play.

impendingxapathy 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 1:17

Hey don't feel bad! Thats how I was born, my parents met because my mom threw up on him at a college dorm party : /

i_is_a_tr00l 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 2:01

Sexy. ;D Did you get a date? :)

jonny2x4 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 2:15

Liquid courage FAIL! FOUR YEARS!? What is wrong with you? Just talk to him. I take it you are shy as well as not hot. Now his lasting impression of you is that of a drunken **** who puked on him. Good luck hooking up with him.