Love: Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough,...

By sickened - 25/08/2009 14:17 - Philippines

Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 758

You deserved it 68 065

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Same thing different taste

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

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Sneaky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 007

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Crossed wires

By hudd357mag - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 755

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By hotmess - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 653

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He's got game

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 590

You deserved it 6 175

Unfazed and dazed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Lewes

Today, I found out that licking your very chapped lips while totally zoned out and looking in the general direction of a girl, will end up with you becoming the massive college creeper that everyone avoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 542

You deserved it 3 701

Sirens

By yumx24 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 16 198

Neil Diamond was wrong

By LucyLollipop - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 937

Misunderstanding

By vanessa_d15 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 119

You deserved it 6 752

jewjewbee 6

Tuesday 25 August 2009 20:05

idiot. you PRETEND to be drunk. then you hook up with him, remember everything, are in control of how much you act like a fool, and can blame it on the alcohol later. puking isn't sexy.

Clever_Nick_Here 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 20:07

Not brave enough to just go hit on him? You asked for that one.

Comments

cruncheweezy 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 8:29

Why the **** do you need alcohol to talk to a guy? Not only does booze make you SEEM stupider than you actually are, what's the point? If you're actually going to be spending time with him outside of a bar scene, you're going to (hopefully) be sober anyway. Honestly, girls that need alcohol just to talk to a guy aren't worth it AT ALL. Grow a freaking spine, OP you ninny.

cruncheweezy 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 8:33

Someone with no balls, no brains and no social skills AT ALL, obvs. Also, Snails.

Charlina 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 8:43

youre an idiot! being drunk is not sexy! get some balls and try to ask a guy out when youre sober (if someone still wants you, you *****)

Diabro 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 9:06

GOD FORBID YOU BREAK THE GENDER ROLES AND ACTUALLY MAKE THE FIRST MOVE SOBER.

Dessgeega 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 9:52

Why don't you just PRETEND to be drunk?

wellinever 5

Wednesday 26 August 2009 10:11

Being drunk is NEVER sexy. Maybe social taboos are more rigid in the Philippines, but there must be an easier way for you to let a guy know you are interested. Like looking at him. And smiling. Guys are pretty tuned in to those signals.

nanoflacka 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 12:31

So u confessed what u had for lunch?

Laxguitar37 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 12:41

lightweighttt!

nodbor 11

Friday 28 August 2009 8:59

wish that I could draw this one. OP hey come I just want that you here big boy, to tell you make me want to ffffaaaaaccchh. I bet that he did not ask you to repeat it.

Wraith_Paladin 0

Friday 28 August 2009 15:41

Why didn't you just PRETEND??? That song is so damned stupid, and you're responsible for your actions DESPITE any alcohol impairment. You deserved what you got. Nobody can blame it on alcohol, as alcohol is an inanimate thing. The blame lies in YOUR lack of good judgment. Drinking too much=Vomiting in your crush's ear.