Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her...

By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 138

You deserved it 6 253

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674

The sensual world

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 21:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 451

You deserved it 18 116

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 297

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 921

You deserved it 10 325

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 889

You deserved it 7 259

By hamboneghost - 24/02/2015 19:02 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 311

You deserved it 8 865

Barf

By Danielle - 25/10/2020 11:02

Today, I threw up during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 190

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 132

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 175

You deserved it 7 036

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 676

You deserved it 9 516

JeyBiscuit 14

Sunday 25 October 2015 0:29

What caused you to throw up? Was she not clean down there?

DarkJediLove 19

Sunday 25 October 2015 0:32

Prepare her an amazing bubble bath and pray she lets you kiss her again.

Comments

xxkrystalxx 14

Sunday 25 October 2015 5:21

That bad huh?

Quicky5_ 16

Sunday 25 October 2015 5:22

I am looking forward to a follow up.

Enzymatic 14

Sunday 25 October 2015 5:27

a unhygenic ****** is not good. explain to her its not her and make sure she has a shower.

allforfun 23

Sunday 25 October 2015 19:06

If she has an unhygienic ****** how is it not her?

Ame444 2

Sunday 25 October 2015 6:00

It's her that should write to FML , you sick ass

Tyrez 32

Sunday 25 October 2015 6:02

Yeah because he totally threw up on purpose and it had nothing to do with her poor genital hygiene.

taybabe121 10

Sunday 25 October 2015 6:32

She threw up or you?

StarkWolf_fml 23

Sunday 25 October 2015 6:59

was it because she has a penis?

sighlifeman 12

Sunday 25 October 2015 7:00

real men eat p*ssy, guess u aren't

sighlifeman 12

Sunday 25 October 2015 23:41

that's cause you're one a pussy

MissuhGrey 10

Sunday 25 October 2015 7:08

Did da pussy stank?

Uriel87 3

Sunday 25 October 2015 9:42

That is hilarious! ROFL

Mynamesjeff21 6

Sunday 25 October 2015 11:28

Guess you dont like fish then...

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The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 999

You deserved it 7 513

The Top

Today, I went to our school golf banquet, after being with the team and practicing every day for a few months with them. When it came time to get the certificates, all the names were called out. Except for mine. When I asked the coach where my certificate was, he said "Who are you?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 615

You deserved it 3 323

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 314

You deserved it 5 911

Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 454

Today, I’m a single parent and lately I’ve been working out to get healthier. During a session, I injured my back pretty badly. Now I need help getting out of bed, etc. I just wanted to make sure they wouldn’t ever need to take care of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 108

Today, I almost got hit by a car because the kid in the back who was wearing headphones was paying more attention to the road than the driver. He only just stopped her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 472

You deserved it 785

Today, I realized my morbidly obese sibling's favorite bathroom to use is whichever one is closest to me during the day. Three floors of living space and the monster wants to drop a nuke where the odors are certain to waft to my nose three times a day. Every. Single. Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 308