Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked...

By Anonymous - 25/05/2010 23:33 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 814

You deserved it 39 774

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Smack my bitch up

By Anonymous - 02/06/2023 01:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got naked after coming home. It's super hot where I live and I wanted to cool down before getting dressed again. As I was standing there, minding my own business, the cat I'm pet-sitting for a friend reached up and clawed me on the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 228

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 21:18 - United States

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 798

You deserved it 12 917

By idiot says pussy - 21/01/2014 17:43 - United States

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 405

You deserved it 7 943

By littlespoon - 04/02/2010 08:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 3 567

By "baow" - 17/03/2019 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I met this girl and we ended up having sex at her place. She decided to give me some head underneath the cover, it really was great until her Garfield sized cat decided to jump on her head and make her choke on it. Guess who got kicked out in the middle of the night for being too reckless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 159

You deserved it 339

By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 143

You deserved it 482

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 328

Splinters

By Anonymous - 14/08/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, after sex last night, I'd fallen asleep nude without bothering to put on underwear. What a mistake that was. My cat decided to wake me up by clawing and biting my naked morning wood like she was trying to rip the head off a mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 161

Surprise, wanker!

By pussnboots - 16/07/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, as I was feeling frisky, I started to jack off. I was about to come when my cat attacked my hand and nether regions under the blanket. I really got the pussy, didn’t I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 214

By Katrina - 13/02/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 624

You deserved it 9 579

nateypooo 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:06

that really sucks.cat=$500 gf=$1000 gfs parents seeing u naked with the cat= priceless

irish_love 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:06

wow.. you are not very smart.. why would you run outside naked in the first place?! why not dress first? your not even at your own home!!

Comments

uhohuscrewedup 0

Thursday 27 May 2010 12:56

hahahaha this made me laugh thanx op

goobly 2

Friday 28 May 2010 1:40

you obviously don't know what the word "feral" means

twilightfreak779 0

Friday 28 May 2010 1:42

he tried to warn you.

joshua1092 0

Friday 28 May 2010 3:18

Down pussy

LabRats_fml 4

Friday 28 May 2010 4:17

before belive this guy let's here the cats side of the story

miele_fml 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 9:56

Coincidence? I think not.

gsino 0

Friday 4 June 2010 15:10

I think this shit is fake. It reminds me of some stupid movie.

5626Graphite 3

Monday 7 June 2010 21:56

did you put the cat down, flash your junk and walk back in? or did the cat become a pair of boxers while you talked to the folks?

ItsASecretShh 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 7:30

1- Don't blame the cat that you left it in the room while you were having sex! Everyone knows animals aren't a good thing to be around when having sex. 2- A Ferrel cat is a completely wild non-pet cat... dumbass.